Situations
by Lunar Penguin CPhT
Summary: A bunch of nonsensical situations featuring our favorite Marshals. They can stand alone, but they seem to be flowing like chapters. May giggles ensue! Chapter 6 bumps the rating to M. You have been warned. Enjoy!
1. Karaoke

**Just a little bit of nonsense here… The first installment of my series called "Situations" where we find Mary and Marshall in scenarios we can only dream about. I do not own them or anything referenced in this story. It is purely for amusement purposes.**

**And here we go!**

Marshall looked over at Mary. She looked run-down, tired, and emotionally drained. It had been a long day in WITSEC: one of her witnesses decided to get drunk and rear-end a police vehicle, another (who was new to the program) had been threatening to kill herself for reasons unknown beyond the usual "not adjusting to new life" rigmarole, and finally Marshall assumed that there was something going on at home when Mary had entered the office in an even more unhappy state than usual. It seemed like his partner needed a distraction.

Marshall accepted the challenge.

"Ok, let's go, Mare," he said with a finality associated with slamming his book shut. She jumped at the sudden noise. "Come on, get up, grab your coat, we're going for a drink." Marshall got up, shut his computer off, and grabbed his coat on the way to the exit. Looking behind him, he found Mary staring at him with a look of disbelief. "What? Let's go! You can punch me for whatever it is you want to punch me for right now, later." Grinning, he headed for the elevator. The door was just closing when her hand thrust through the gap. He pushed the "elevator open" button and allowed her access.

After a few seconds, her curiosity got the better of her. "Where are we going?" she demanded.

"Ah, my impatient little mustard seed, you will have to work on those patience exercises we've been practicing," he grinned and braced himself for the assault that was coming, "you'll have to wait and see".

The assault never came.

Marshall looked over at his partner only to see her squinting and mouthing the words "mustard seed" in what would sound like a confusing tone if she were speaking out loud. She looked up at him quizzically.

"What?"

"_Mustard Seed_?"

"It was the first thing that came to mind. Not everything that comes out of my mouth is from a script that I write when I get out of bed every morning, you know," grinning, Marshall managed to escape the now open elevator and jog to his car.

The door was starting to close again when Mary realized he was no longer next to her. Catching up to him, she climbed into the passenger side of the GMC just as he started it up. "I reiterate my first question: where are we going?"

"And I reiterate my first answer; minus the 'mustard seed' thing because that went to hell: you'll have to wait and see."

Slouching in her seat with her arms crossed over her chest, she waited for Marshall to start a conversation. She was sorely disappointed when nothing came out of his mouth. Not one annoyingly (and probably true) fact, not one question about her foul mood from earlier that morning, nothing. The drive lasted about 10 minutes before coming to rest outside a pub marked "Sparky's".

"Really, Marshall? Sparky's?" she asked him in disbelief, "They couldn't come up with a more innovative name?" Mary had been too busy glaring at the sign on the building that she was surprised to see Marshall's chest directly in her line of vision. He opened the door for her and she stepped out; all the while directing her glare back and forth between him and the building.

"Come on," Marshall put his hand on her right shoulder blade, "let's go have a drink." Reluctantly, Mary allowed him to guide her towards the pub. "Ah, Mary," he began, "cut loose a little tonight. You, of all people, deserve it," and with a knowing grin, Marshall opened the door and ushered Mary in by the small of her back. He could have sworn she muttered something along the lines of 'jackass' as she passed by him but he chose to ignore it. She was going to laugh tonight. He was sure of it.

A few drinks later, a voice on came over the loudspeaker. _Ok, I hope all have had enough liquid courage because it's time for karaoke night to begin!_ Marshall managed to yank Mary back into her chair before she was able to fully stand up.

"Aw, come on, Marshall!" she whined, "karaoke is on my 'things NOT to do before I die' list…"

"No one said you had to sing, Mary," he chuckled at the horrified expression on his partner's face, "but won't it be fun to laugh at all these other idiots?"

"I'd rather gouge my eardrums out with a nail clipper…" Mary knew when she was defeated and resigned herself to the next hour of torture. "You win, Marshall, I'll stay but only for an hour! And I'm not going to like it… you owe me big time."

"Oh, trust me, I know."

Mary didn't like the smug smile on his face but turned anyway to listen to some pasty nerdy guy with thick glasses singing 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn'. Leaning over to Marshall, she whispered "shoot me now…"

The nerd finished his song and the wretched voice came back on the loudspeaker. _Thank you Nelson! Now give it up for our Wednesday night regular, Marshall!_ Mary was horrified and before she knew it, Marshall was no longer next to her but on the stage. "Aw crap," were the last words she was able to utter before some familiar guitar base started playing. Marshall started the song with his back turned and his suit blazer was still on the chair next to her. Then, just as she thought the initial shock was bad enough, Marshall started rapping:

_This here's a tale for all the fellas__  
__Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us__  
__Get shot down 'cause you're over zealous__  
__Play hard to get, females get jealous__  
__Okay smartie, go to a party__  
__Girls are scantily clad and showin' body__  
__A chick walks by, you wish you could sex her__  
__But you're standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter__  
__Next day's function, high class luncheon__  
__Food is served, and you're stone cold munchin'__  
__Music comes on, people start to dance__  
__But then you ate so much, you nearly split your pants__  
__A girl starts walkin', guys start gawkin'__  
__Sits down next to you and starts talkin'__  
__Said she wanna dance 'cause she likes the groove__  
__So come on, fatso, and just bust a move._

Mary just sat there, mouth hanging open, wishing this was all a dream. She was woken from her reverie at Marshall shouting _JUST BUST A MOVE _at the end of the chorus. It wasn't until she noticed he was trying to dance that she finally cracked a smile.

_You're on a mission and you're wishin'__  
__Someone could cure your lonely condition__  
__Lookin' for love in all the wrong places__  
__No fine girls, just ugly faces__  
__From frustration, first inclination__  
__Is to become a monk and leave the situation__  
__But every dark tunnel has a light of hope__  
__So don't hang yourself with a celibate rope__  
__Your movie's showin', so you're goin'__  
__Could care less about the five you're blowin'__  
__Theater gets dark just to start the show__  
__And then you spot a fine woman sittin' in your row__  
__She's dressed in yellow, she says "Hello__  
__Come sit next to me, you fine fellow"__  
__You run over there without a second to lose__  
__And what comes next, hey bust a move!_

She caught Marshall's eye and he winked at her. Somehow, Mary found herself singing the chorus "If you want, you got it, uh if you want it, baby you got it!" She blushed as she realized people starting to look in her direction. She was saved as Marshall began the next verse.

_In the city, ladies look pretty__  
__Guys tell jokes so they can seem witty__  
__Tell a funny joke just to get some play__  
__Then you try to make a move and she says, "no way"__  
__Girls are fakin', goodness sakin'__  
__They want a man who brings home the bacon__  
__Got no money, and you got no car__  
__Then you got no woman, and there you are__  
__Some girls are sadistic, materialistic__  
__Looking for a man makes them opportunistic__  
__They're lyin' on the beach perpetratin' a tan__  
__So that a brother with the money can be their man__  
__So on the beach you're strollin', real high rollin'__  
__Everything you have is yours and not stolen__  
__A girl runs up with somethin' to prove__  
__So don't just stand there, bust a move_

Marshall took the microphone and jumped off the stage. He made his way to a beet red-faced Mary. Frantically, she looked around for a place to hide however, she found nothing but the traitors of the room laughing and smiling at her as Marshall got closer. Resting her head on her arms, she heaved a great sigh and grabbed the hand that Marshall extended to her. Giving up, she let him lead her to the stage for the final verse. Once at the stage, the beat-box portion of the song started and she was even more surprised to see Marshall doing some very fancy street dancing. "Who knew?" she thought. She felt awkward and out of place just standing there while he danced, so she grabbed the other microphone and did the background vocals; coincidentally; those lyrics being the only ones she knew. Marshall began to sing again.

_Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry__  
__In five days from now he's gonna marry__  
__He's hopin' you can make it there if you can__  
__'Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man__  
__You say "neato," check your libido__  
__And roll to the church in your new tuxedo__  
__The bride walks down just to start the wedding__  
__And there's one more girl you won't be getting__  
__So you start thinkin', then you start blinkin'__  
__A bride maid looks and thinks that you're winkin'__  
__She thinks you're kinda cute so she winks back__  
__And then you're feelin' really fine 'cause the girl is stacked__  
__Reception's jumpin, bass is pumpin'__  
__Look at the girl, and your heart starts thumpin'__  
__Says she wants to dance to a different groove__  
__Now you know what to do, G, bust a move_

Marshall got close to her during this verse and began dancing around her. Grabbing her hand, he tried to engage her in the dancing and she awkwardly accepted and started moving her feet in a fashion one could only call stepping. Mary had never been so embarrassed by her lack of dancing skills until now. The last bit of chorus came on and Mary sang them while looking at the mirth in Marshall's eyes. The song ended as Mary burst out laughing. He laughed with her and together they stumbled out of the bar amidst the applause. Once they were outside in the crisp evening air, Marshall leaned down to whisper into her ear.

"Mission accomplished."

**Ok there's installment number one. I have other ideas. Should I go with them? I hope you're all smiling at the image of Marshall rapping to "Bust a Move" by Young MC. I can picture him doing karaoke Wednesdays at least…**

**Until next time, **

**LP**


	2. Origami

**Here we go with more nonsense! You asked for it… You have been warned.**

**As always, I own nothing.**

**And here we go!**

"My bet, my terms."

"In your dreams, jackass, there's no way I'm going to your stupid origami class!"

"I wasn't the one who bet against my aim!" Marshall laughed, "You really ought to know better than to insult my abilities as one of the greatest sharp shooters in Albuquerque," he continued in his smug drawl that he knew would fire up his partner.

"Sharp shooter? Really, Marshall," Mary threw her hands into the air. "It's not like we're at the firing range! So you managed to shoot a spit wad into Eleanor's coffee mug. Big whoop!"

"You're just mad you lost."

"Hell yeah, I'm mad that I lost!"

"Well, you DID shake to our agreement; that the winner would set the terms of the bet," he had her cornered. Mary was many things, but she most definitely was not one to go back on a contract (frivolous as it was). She sighed. "Great! I'll pick you up at 6:30 sharp! Be ready," and with that, he left the office.

"Fine, but you're supplying the band aids and antiseptic!" she called after him.

"But of course, Mon Cherie," was his triumphant retort right before the elevator doors cut him off.

Mary turned from facing the doors and was met with the sight of Eleanor studying her coffee mug.

"Did he really shoot a spit wad into my coffee?" Eleanor looked like she might be sick. Mary gave no answer but a small grin as she turned to her computer to get some work done.

Time passed by too quickly for Mary's liking and soon it was time to head home. Grabbing her coat, she realized Marshall had not been back since the terms of their agreement had been set. Feeling uneasy, she said her goodnights to Stan and flashed a feral grin towards Eleanor. She stepped into the elevator while cursing herself.

Once home, Mary grabbed a bottle of water and a granola bar. Looking at the clock, she nearly choked when she saw the time. _6:15? Shit… Marshall will be here any minute._ At that, she dashed into her room to change out of her work clothes into jeans and a tank top and to brush her teeth. She heard the doorbell just as she was rinsing with the mouthwash. The doorbell went off a couple more times and, though she knew he couldn't see her, she glared in the direction of the door. Mary willed him to stop pushing the doorbell.

He did.

Shaking her head in surprise, she made her way to the door to let him in.

"Aw, you didn't have to clean up for me!" Marshall seemed too cheerful for his own good as he stepped across the threshold of the Shannon house.

"Who says I did?" she challenged.

"The toothpaste on your chin tells all," he grinned as he reached out his thumb to wipe it away, "there, all gone!"

Mary glared in a fashion that only she could pull off.

_Wow, she could make Satan cry,_ thought Marshall.

Looking at his hands, she saw a box wrapped in blue paper, "What's this?" she pointed at it.

"Ah, 'tis but an olive branch!"

"Can't you speak like a normal person?"

"Fine, it's a gift. Go on, open it," he thrust it into her hands.

"I hate gifts," nevertheless, she tore at it like a child on Christmas, "a first aid kit? Really?"

"I have a feeling you'll need it. I got one with extra band aids!"

"I see that," Mary opened the box and noticed 2 boxes of band aids, "Scooby Doo and Power Rangers? Really?"

"I thought it might suit your badass image better than Dora the Explorer and Spongebob," Marshall explained, "and on that note, we need to leave if we're going to get there in time for the pre-class meditation." Marshall dodged her fist that was aimed in his direction and scampered out to the car, "You coming?"

Mary gave a growl before snatching up the first aid kit and chasing him, "Meditation! Who said anything about meditation?" The only response she got was hearty laughter.

The drive over consisted of scowling, banter, and a challenge to a rematch with a new target: between Stan's eyebrows WHILE in his office. Marshall instantly agreed saying that he was looking forward to thinking up new and creative ways to torture his partner.

"You wish, Cowboy! You'll lose this one for sure!" Mary seemed confident in her ability to defeat him, "I just didn't get enough time to warm up this time. Prepare to die!" Marshall chuckled as he pulled up to a non-descript building.

"Come on! We're going to be late!" Marshall tried to hurry her out of the car.

Once inside the door, a young oriental man greeted them with a bow and handed each of them a pair of slippers.

"What's wrong with my shoes?" Mary demanded. Marshall pulled her back outside with an apologetic look towards the greeter who simply nodded in understanding.

"Mare, this is the real deal. They follow customs and ancient protocol here. Try not to insult them and just go along with it ok?" Marshall pleaded.

"Fine, but you owe me that rematch! I will exact my revenge on you for this!" she resigned.

"Of that I have no doubts, my little lotus blossom," again, Marshall was forced to duck as Mary took a swing at him. He smiled at her and held the door open to let her back into the building. She took a single swat at his chest and led the way in.

She bowed deeply to the greeter while accepting her slippers. She waited for Marshall to do the same and the greeter directed them towards the shoe room. Mary sent Marshall an evil grin as she changed out of her shoes and into the slippers. He had no doubts in his expansive mind that she was plotting against him. He would just have to stay on his game.

"So where to now?" she asked. He was snapped out of his reverie.

"Ah, yes, now it is time for the meditation. Follow me," he led her into a room that had the light scent of jasmine incense and soft oriental-sounding music. There were many pillows on the floor. Marshall chose one in the back of the room. He sat on it with his legs crossed over the edge. "Just do as I do and you'll be fine." _I hope_ he added with a nervous glance at her.

"So, we just sit here with our eyes closed? For how long?" she looked at him as he nodded.

"For however long it takes you to forget your day and be one with the moment," he resisted the urge to repeat his 'be the river' mantra to her. They sat there for a few minutes before he noticed her becoming fidgety. There were now other students in the room going through the same preparations and some seemed disturbed by her lack of self-restraint. Marshall realized that he should have known she wouldn't be able to sit still and decided on a more unorthodox way of getting her to relax.

Mary couldn't stand it. She hated sitting still for extended periods of time. The past few minutes were torture to her. She was just about to get up and head to the Origami room when she felt Marshall's hands on her neck. He lightly began applying pressure around her spinal cord and moving the tips of his fingers in slow circles. He added his thumbs to the rotation at the base of her neck. Her fidgeting stopped.

"Relax," he whispered into her ear. He was very close to her and she could have sworn his lips brushed against her cartilage as he whispered to her. Suddenly, she couldn't remember how to breathe. He continued his ministrations on her neck and shoulders. _It's a good thing I chose seats close to the back,_ he thought as he noticed the other students get up to enter the Origami room. Once her erratic breathing relaxed, he lightly brushed his fingers down her bare arms and made his way to her front to help her up.

Mary uncharacteristically whimpered at the loss of his touch and was surprised to sense him in front of her. She allowed him to grasp at her hands to help her up. It was a good thing too, because the first thing she felt once she was on her feet was lightheaded. Shaking her head, she looked him in the eyes. "Thanks, Buddha," she said as she walked towards the Origami Room. He blinked, grinned in amusement at the new nickname and followed her.

They reached the Origami Room. It was laid out in the same manner as the Meditation Room except there were tables in front of the floor pillows. There were two pillows per table. Each table had a wide variety of colored paper to choose from. Again, Marshall chose a table in the back so he could quietly explain things to Mary. The instructor entered the room and everyone bowed to one another before taking their seats.

"Tonight's focus is on feelings," the instructor began. He was a tiny Oriental man with a long white beard and a mostly bald head that had a sparse amount of thing white hair on the edges. "Tonight, you will choose your figure and color based upon the other person sitting with you at your table. Let your emotions guide you as you choose. Spend the first moments looking into your partner's eyes and understand their meaning to you. It matters not if you are strangers or lovers, or in between. Everyone matters to everyone tonight."

Marshall took a quick glance at the ceiling and took a deep breath before looking at Mary. _Of course this would be the assignment on the night I bring Mary…Crap._ Mary looked slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of having to look deep into Marshall's eyes. Giving him the cheekiest grin she could muster up under the circumstances, she began to search his oceanic depths of vision. He returned her grin with one of his own and began to lose himself in the rolling mountains of her eyes. After a few moments, they blinked simultaneously and began working.

Marshall decided he was going to make a blue tiger. He chose blue for the underlying tones of trustworthiness and loyalty and he chose a tiger because although his partner was beautiful and interesting to watch, she had a graceful yet deadly side to her. He knew her inside and out and he hoped that is project would show that to her. Grabbing a piece of dark blue paper, he began his folding.

Mary wanted to try something simple. She knew he had lots of small trinkets on his desk at work and she knew that they were always being knocked over. She found instructions on making a simple box with a cover and decided to strive for that. She chose a piece of brown paper for the box part. Something about the color brown reminded her of being grounded and down-to-earth; similar to how Marshall made her feel. Yes, brown was the perfect color to start with. She began folding it into the shape of a box, determined to make it perfect.

She was too quiet for his liking. Risking a glance out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her hunched over the table with her blonde hair obstructing his view of her project. Despite his curiosity, he turned back to his tiger.

She noticed him glance over at her but she was determined to do this on her own. So far, so good; no paper cuts or confusion. She finished the base of the box and began perusing the colored papers for a suitable box cover. Reaching her long fingers into the pile, she drew out a piece of orange paper. Orange reminded her of energy and enthusiasm; something Marshall had for everything he took interest in. Satisfied with her choice, she began working on the box cover; only after hiding the actual box beside her knee so he wouldn't see it.

Marshall noticed her change in demeanor and looked over at her. She gave him a smile as she continued to concentrate on her work. Shaking his head lightly, he smiled to himself as he continued his intricate blue tiger. _At least she seems to be enjoying herself_ he thought.

Mary finished her box cover all too soon for her liking. She sat there and noticed Marshall in deep concentration. She took this time to study him. There was something about the way he had touched her earlier that made her change something about how she saw him. She leaned an elbow on the table and thought about the feeling of his fingers lightly working the muscles in her neck. Never before, had she let a man touch her like that; not even Raph. Marshall was the one person she relied on completely in her life. Feeling ambitious, she grabbed the folding guide and perused it for something else to do. Her eyes fell on one particular project. Biting her lip, she noticed that it seemed beyond her capabilities. She decided to try it.

Looking into the array of colored paper, she found the one paper that she felt would express this design perfectly. Turning completely away from him, she stealthily dragged the paper towards her and began to read through the instructions. Fold here, crease here, fold some more. It didn't look exactly like the finished product in the guide but it would do. Proud of her work, she slipped the third project into her completed box and faced forward with a smug grin.

Marshall finished his tiger just as the instructor began to signal the end of class.

"Ok, now students, it's time to show your masterpieces," the instructor said in his soft voice.

Shyly, Marshall placed his tiger into her outstretched palm. He sucked in a breath as he watched her admire it. _Does she like it? Does she think I'm a moron?_ He vaguely remembered telling her that being partnered with her was like being the keeper of an exotic animal. _What if she takes it the wrong way?_ Marshall began to worry at her insistent silence.

Mary was rendered speechless at the beauty of the tiger. Marshall was very talented. _Well, who wouldn't be with those long beautiful fingers?_ She flushed slightly at that thought as it began to wonder about what else his fingers might be good at. Looking up at him, she smiled and chuckled inwardly at the rush of breath that came out of him. He held out his palm expectantly with his trademark grin. As he raised his left eyebrow in encouragement, she placed the box in his hand.

Running his fingers over the brown and orange paper, he smiled. She had done well for her first Origami endeavor. He looked at her with a question in his eyes. _Can I open it?_ The look she gave back to him told him not yet. He smiled as the instructor dismissed the class. Bows were exchanged, shoes were retrieved, and the cool Albuquerque air rushed at their faces as they stepped out into the night.

He was faintly aware of her presence getting farther and farther behind him as he held his treasure from the evening. Sensing that she was no longer right behind him, he looked back to see her studying the tiger.

"You might be wondering why I chose a tiger," he said, "and a blue one at that."

"No, I think I understand. Tigers are fierce and blue is a color of loyalty," she said as if speaking to herself. Marshall had to get closer to hear the end of her statement.

"Yes, but tigers are also graceful, beautiful, and honorable. And blue indicates trustworthiness in addition to loyalty," he explained, "all of these are qualities that you possess." Marshall caught the reflection of a tear on her face in the moonlight. He reached up with his thumb to wipe it away.

"Do you want to open your box now?" Mary's voice was a throaty whisper. Marshall's eyes gleamed with interest. His curiosity piqued, he opened the orange lid. He tried to suppress a gasp as the content of the box was revealed to him. "I chose brown for the base of the box because you keep me grounded, and I chose orange for the lid because it made me think of the enthusiasm you hold for everything you do. And I chose the content of the box to show you what I know about you," she laid a hand on his arm when his eyes betrayed his poker face. She saw the fear behind the trustworthy blue of his eyes. "I made you my heart. It's not perfect. It has its irregularities. The color is what makes it even more unique: it's crimson, not red. Crimson represents what's inside. Red is superficial. What we have is not superficial. What we have is deeper than that. Marshall, I made you my heart," not once did she look away from his eyes.

They stood there like that for what seemed like an eternity. Just as she was losing her confidence in her choice of project, Marshall mumbled what sounded like _thank you_ before gathering her up in his arms for the greatest kiss she had every received. Everything came forward with this one kiss: every emotion, every fear, every want, and every need. Pulling apart, Marshall rested his forehead on hers. She waited until they both caught their breath.

"I'm still exacting my revenge for this you know…"

His laughter rang out like a cathedral bell in the silent night.

**Well, there's installment number two! Wow, it's a lot longer than the last one and not so funny but I think I'm going to mix up the genres a little with these! I hope you enjoyed!**

**LP**


	3. The Bet

**So this is sort of a continuation of "Origami". Marshall finds himself in a situation that he wouldn't have ever thought he'd be in. It may or may not be Mary's fault ;)**

Stan jerked his head up as he felt something strike him on the head. Getting up to see what had pulled him from his concentration, he went to his door where he heard the tail end of a conversation between his inspectors.

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"No, it wasn't in the agreed location. Therefore it does not count!" Marshall was standing in Mary's space with his arms folded in front of his chest smiling with purpose. _That purpose probably being to annoy Mary_, Stan thought as he shook his head at his Inspectors. He also realized that he still had no idea what they were arguing about. Had he taken one more step, he would have noticed Eleanor looking at him with warning in her eyes. Instead, he simply told them to get back to their work and missed their mischievous grins that displayed themselves once his back was turned. _I swear, this job is some kind of mash up between being a kindergarten teacher and a mob boss. I'm too paranoid of them to sit with my back to the door._ Stan chuckled and turned back to his files.

A couple hours passed and he looked up into the common area where he found his Inspectors doing something he rarely saw them do: working. Looking at the clock, he realized it was just about time for lunch. Turning away to grab his coat he thought about how unsettling it was to have his Marshals doing their work. Making his way to his door, he noticed them to be no where in sight. Just as he was about to take a step out of his office, he felt something wet smack him between his eyes. Mary popped up from behind her desk while pumping a fist in the air.

"Yes!" she cried, "it counts! He was still in his office and it was in the pre-determined spot! Say it, Marshall! Say it!"

"Fine," Marshall conceded, "you're the darn tootin', sharp shootin', best shot in these here parts." Marshall was all monotones as he accepted his defeat. Mary held up her hollow pen and blew across it as if it were a smoking gun.

"What's going on here!" Stan bellowed while being rightfully disgusted as he wiped the spitball from his forehead. Mary froze and looked slightly panicked as Marshall gathered his wits and looked at his watch.

"Would you look at the time? Care to join me for lunch, m'lady?" he seemed to barely be able to hold back his laughter. He held out his arm for Mary to take. Mary shook the look of panic off her face and smiled at her partner.

"I'd be honored, kind sir," she looped her arm through his. Looking back at Stan, she said, "Good men are so hard to come across these days." With that, the partners strolled out the door barely containing their giggles.

"You couldn't have warned me?" Stan looked over at Eleanor who carried an expression of mild amusement on her features. Eleanor simply smiled and returned to her work. Stan threw up his hands and followed the direction his Inspectors left in.

Mary was running while crouched over holding her sides; her abdominal muscles from laughing so hard. "Did you see the look on his face?" She had to take a deep breath in between each word in order to sound coherent.

"I think you nailed him on that vein that pops out when he's angry!" Marshall hadn't laughed this hard in so long. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Stan exiting the building, "Quick, we need to get out of here!" Mary looked in the direction Marshall was running from.

"Shit! Go, go, go! Pedal to the metal, Marshall! Get us out of here!" Mary scrambled into the passenger side of the GMC. Looking toward the driver side, she noticed Marshall fumbling with the keys. "Some Marshal you are, give me those!" She grabbed the keys out of his hand, took the car key, and thrust it into the ignition. Marshall swatted her hand away and turned the key. The GMC peeled out with its passengers laughing hysterically inside it.

The pair got their sandwiches to go and decided to eat in a nearby park. Marshall unfolded the tailgate of the GMC and they sat on it to have their lunch. In a rare moment of relaxation, Mary took off her long sleeve shirt to reveal her tank top and leaned her back against Marshall's side. His balance was only upset for a moment as he adjusted to her weight leaning on him. She sighed as she leaned her head back on his shoulder before digging into her sandwich. Marshall held his sandwich in one hand while tracing lazy circles on Mary's forearm.

"Should I be worried that you haven't mentioned your revenge to me yet?" Marshall asked between bites of his Reuben. He felt Mary's back vibrating against his side and he looked down to see her laughing. "Is this evil laughter I'm hearing?"

"Oh, I'm going to have to think for a little while," she answered him with merriment in her tone, "I need to think of an appropriate punishment."

"Fair enough," Marshall said after polishing off the remains of his food, "although I don't think what I subjected you to be all too terrible. You seemed to enjoy yourself." Marshall raised an eyebrow in anticipation of her response.

"Well who knows? Maybe you'll enjoy yourself where I'm taking you. Maybe it'll be another eye opening experience," Mary trailed off purposefully; she was baiting him. Marshall understood her game and decided to lay out his own bait.

"How much more open could one possibly get? Your eyes seemed wide open to me," he grinned when he felt her shift uncomfortably against him.

"It's time we headed back," she changed the subject, "Stan's had to have cooled off by now." She got up from her position against Marshall and stood up to stretch her legs. Marshall hopped down from the tailgate and handed her the shirt she had discarded. He noticed Mary looking at him with mirth in her eyes. He instantly became suspicious.

"What?" His eyes grew wide as she stepped closer to him looking even more amused with each step. He nervously backed up towards the car until he could go no further. Mary simply continued her advances until she was right up against him. His breathing quickened as she brought her face closer to his. Subconsciously, he closed his eyes and leaned forward only to feel her tongue sweep across his chin. And then, there was nothing. He opened his eyes and saw her rounding the corner of the vehicle to the passenger side.

"You had Russian dressing on your chin," was all she said before climbing into the car. He let out a frustrated breath before getting into the car and beginning the trip back to the Sunshine Building.

Things were unusually quiet when the duo arrived back at the office. Stan was in his office, and Eleanor was at her desk. No mention of their earlier shenanigans was made. Feeling uneasy, Marshall and Mary decided to make their rounds and visit their witnesses. One of Marshall's witnesses, she discovered, was fresh out of the closet. Mary noticed that it made him slightly uncomfortable (though he hid it well). She grinned to herself and willed her muses to continue their work in silence.

The rest of the afternoon passed by relatively quickly; a few more stops had brought them full circle. Back at the office, Stan and Eleanor had decided to make it an early day so the Marshals decided to take advantage of the quiet and finish up some paperwork in the conference room.

"What are you doing tonight?" Mary was always the first to break the silence. Marshall peered over the top of a form.

"Nothing, why do you ask," Marshall's tone was suspicious. Mary kept her giggles to herself.

"Well, I was thinking that we haven't actually had a first date yet. Origami doesn't count since you had to drag me there in the first place, and we've been so busy with work lately that it doesn't seem like we've had any free time," she raised her eyebrows suggestively. Marshall seemed to brighten up and the prospect of going on a date with Mary.

"What did you have in mind?" he put on his flirtatious smile. Mary early forgot her objective. Mary made her way to behind his chair and began running her hands through his hair, over his shoulders, and finally coming to rest clasped around his chest. She leaned in to whisper into his ear.

"You'll just have to wait and see now, won't you?" she nipped at his earlobe before releasing him and she sauntered out of the conference room. She was smooth as she made her way to her desk, grabbed her jacket, and left the office to head home. She didn't allow her laughter to seep out until she was safely within the confines of her Probe.

Marshall was still staring in the direction Mary had gone in like he was in shock. The vibration of his cell phone jolted him back to reality. He had one new text message:

**Pick me up at 7pm don't be late, Cowboy ;-)**

Recalling the feel of her lips on his ear, Marshall shivered before getting the papers and his things together. He had to get home to get ready. Marshall wanted to be prepared for whatever it was she was planning. _Would she really use our first date as revenge?_ He wouldn't put it past her; and they never really had discussed what happened after the Origami class. Marshall put his guard up but also prepared to be his usual debonair and suave self. He was going to make this night count.

If only he knew what Mary had in store for him.

**And it's 2am here and I have a sinus infection that is turning into a chest cold, so I'm going to leave it there for now. The next chapter will be their date. Hehehe... Hopefully, I'll be able to bang it out before I have to go to work for 3pm till 10pm! Thank you for all the reviews! They really are awesome and I'm so glad that people are enjoying this!**

**Until next time,**

**LP**


	4. The Date

**Ok, sorry this took so long, but I got stuck! Once I figured out the main plot for this chapter, the rest just came to me. Once you get past the awkward first couple paragraphs, you should begin to enjoy it! Personally, I think it's amusing **

Marshall felt like he was in high school getting ready for the prom. He stopped in his kitchen and looked at the clock on the microwave. _5:30…Okay, I have time. I just need to schedule each preparation and I'll be ready in no time._ He ran up the stairs, grabbed a towel, and dashed into the shower. After hopping out of the shower, he noticed that he needed to shave. He shaved, applied his "rugged mountain man" after-shave and went to pick out his outfit. _Crap, I don't know what we're doing tonight_ he realized as he looked through his wardrobe.

Deciding he needed some music to psyche himself up, he put his ZZTop album into the CD player. He turned it to 'Sharp Dressed Man' and began to pick out an outfit. Finishing, he looked in the mirror and rubbed some mousse into his hands and began to systematically "mess up" his hair. Once satisfied, he popped the collar of his jacket and struck a pose. _Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man…_ Getting caught up in the song, he began playing air guitar around his room.

Mary flew into her house with purpose. Throwing her keys on the coffee table, she headed straight to her bedroom. Plans began forming in her mind and she mentally crossed each one off as it didn't seem appropriate to implement on her first date with Marshall. She also realized the time and thought it best that she do her thinking in the shower.

Mary gave herself the full treatment which included shaving, facial mask, toenail and fingernail painting, and blow drying her hair. She didn't have the time to let it air dry. Recalling a tip Brandi had given her once, she blow dried it with a round brush so that her hair acquired some curl at the ends.

One more thing was added to her mental list of things to think about when she realized that she didn't have a clue as to what to do on this date. That item was checked off as she decided to just go with the flow. _Be the river_, Marshall's voice came on in her head. Mary smirked; _Marshall wants a river, then a river he shall get; whatever that's supposed to mean_.

Mary dug through her closet until she pulled out a knee-length, black, and slightly flared, skirt. Throwing it onto her bed, she began to search for a top to accompany it. She still had no idea what she was going to make Marshall do, but whatever it was, was going to take some help convincing him. "A ha!" she exclaimed as she found a three-quarter length sleeve top with a v-neck that accentuated her northern lady parts. _I could convince him to do pretty much anything while wearing this_. She dressed and put on a strappy pair of heels that showed off her legs and her newly painted toes. _Who needs Brandi? I did a hell of a job by myself_. She smiled triumphantly at her reflection and grinned as the doorbell rang. _Show time._

Opening the door, she resisted the urge to just say 'to hell with it' and jump Marshall. Mary had to remind herself that there were plans that needed following through with. _Not that he knows that I have absolutely no plan whatsoever; he needs to sweat it out a little._ He looked better than ever in a dark gray silk button down with the top button undone and the sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms coordinated with a pair of black dress slacks. Over his arm was a dress jacket.

Marshall's reaction mirrored Mary's as he took in the sight before him. Never in all the years being partnered with her had he seen her looking so beautiful. The outfit she had worn to the hen party she had gone to for her witness wasn't exactly her style (he realized that Brandi might have had a hand in that outfit), and the dress she had worn to Jay Arnstein's gallery opening had been classy, but this took the cake! He couldn't describe it. She looked naturally feminine. His eyes took in her legs as they travelled up her body. He blushed slightly as his gaze lingered on her chest. He finally met her eyes and smiled as he offered her his arm. She shook her head to clear out her thoughts before smiling up at him while accepting his arm.

"So, where to?" Marshall broke the awkward silence that followed them into the truck.

"I haven't the slightest idea," Mary blushed as she felt his gaze on her again. "Your 'be the river' mantra has been floating around in my head all afternoon." Marshall chuckled and shook his head.

"Well, what are you in the mood for? Are you hungry? We could start with dinner," he suggested.

"Food sounds good. I'm kind of in the mood for sushi," Mary decided.

"I know just the place," he said as he started the GMC. Their night had officially begun.

"My bet, my terms!" Mary grinned as she repeated the same fateful words that had gotten her into the Origami class. The duo had ended up back at Marshall's place for a glass of wine and a movie. They weren't actually paying attention to the movie so much as they were discussing whatever topics came across their short attention spans.

"Do I have to?" Marshall groaned, "Can't I just do your paperwork or something?"

"Nope, I want this. Tell me, Marshall," Mary whispered seductively into his ear. Marshall shivered at the close proximity of her lips to his ear. He was beginning to realize that if she was whispering very close to his ear, then it meant that she had an evil plan forming in her mind.

And right now, he had no choice but to comply.

"Fine, I'll tell you my most embarrassing secret. Please, just promise me you won't tell anyone; that it will stay between us," he pleaded.

"Baby, I'm like Vegas," she grinned and got closer to his ear again causing Marshall to shiver again, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Mary flicked her tongue onto the outline of his ear and grinned when she realized that she had him exactly where she wanted him. She leaned closer to him in anticipation.

"Okay, here it goes. My most embarrassing secret is that," Marshall took a deep breath and shut his eyes, "Iwriteeroticfanfiction."

"What was that? I couldn't quite understand you."

"I said that I write erotic fan fiction," Marshall squeezed his eyes shut and prepared himself for the ridicule. None came.

"Can I read some?"

"No."

"Aw, why not?"

"You got what you wanted, now let me keep some of my pride."

"Fine," Mary huffed, "will you at least tell me what you're writing fan fiction about? And don't say 'sex' because I already know that," she amended as Marshall silently said what looked like 'damn it', "I mean what movie, TV show, book, or whatever are you writing about?"

"Star Wars..."

That's when the laughter came. Mary was on the floor; peals of laughter rippling through her body.

"Star Wars? Really?" she managed to get out between laughs, "It's bad enough that you write Star Wars fan fiction; but that you write **erotic** Star Wars fan fiction takes it to a whole new level of awesome."

"I can't believe you made me tell you that as your revenge," Marshall drawled. The apples of his cheeks were tinged with pink.

"It was either that or dragging you to a gay strip club," Mary giggled as his eyes grew wide as saucers at the mention of her evil Plan B.

"I may have preferred that," Marshall thought out loud, "at least that would have been over at the end of the night. You will continue to mock me for this until my dying day!"

"No, I think you would prefer this; I was prepared to buy you a lap dance." Marshall shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Out of curiosity, why did you choose this punishment?" he questioned her. She leaned over to his side of the couch and kissed him softly.

"Because doing that would have blown our cover." Marshall smiled and leaned in again and hovered over her lips, nudging her nose at the same time.

"Well, that does seem like an appropriate reason," he closed the distance between them. Mary deepened the kiss and grinned as she heard Marshall moan. She pulled away with a cat-like grin plastered on her lips.

"If you let me read some, I might make it worth your while…" she purred, "Princess Leia was pretty hot in that gold bikini," she mused while fingering his shirt button.

Marshall thought the temperature of the room jumped up about a hundred degrees. He pulled at his collar attempting to let some air between his clothes and his body. Mental images of his wildly attractive partner in a gold bikini and chains flashed brightly in his mind and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Her wandering hands kept moving idly south and Marshall was hyper-aware of this. He stood up rather abruptly, and took a few long strides to the other side of the room; taking his glass of wine with him. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself and finished his wine before risking a glance at Mary again. "Pyromaniac woman," he growled, "didn't your mother ever teach you that playing with fire is a dangerous thing?"

"Actually, she taught me that alcohol burns," Mary grinned as she maintained her lazy position on the couch. Taking advantage of the newly vacated space, she leaned against the armrest and stretched her legs along the length of the couch; very aware that Marshall was following her every movement.

And was he ever! As she stretched, her skirt rode slightly up her thigh; exposing more of her long, gorgeous legs. He made his way back to the couch and picked up her feet before sitting down and placing them in his lap. He began to rub them. He smiled as she closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the contact. He turned his attention to the movie as he began to rub his way to her ankle and then to her calf. She made noises of appreciation which encouraged him further. He made his way to her knee before switching to the other leg.

"I think I'll keep you." He heard her mutter. He stood up, placed her legs back in the position they were in before he sat down and kneeled beside her. He laughed to himself as her face contorted in displeasure at the loss of contact. That displeasure didn't last long as he leaned in to kiss her. The fire she had ignited had kept burning throughout their 'high school style' make out session.

Good times were had by all.

**Finally! This took forever to get out of my brain! Whatever scenario I thought up, it wasn't good enough to be a suitable punishment for Mary to dole out. Maybe the next chapter will be "Mary and Marshall watch 'Napoleon Dynamite'" or something. Actually, I have already started the next chapter so hopefully that will be up soon as well! Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!**

**LP**


	5. Wild Goose Chase?

**I feel the need to point out that I was actually kidding about the movie topic… But since a lot of you responded positively to it, maybe I'll do it in another chapter. HUGE thanks to BuJyo for the encouragement on this chapter. Happy Belated birthday, this one's for you!**

It was just a typical day in the WITSEC office. Marshall made random references to geeky things, Mary complained, Eleanor jabbed, and Stan suffered.

Well, it was typical until lunchtime. Mary and Marshall were left alone in the office when Stan and Eleanor left to get lunch. Marshall looked up from his lo Mein to see Mary clutching her stomach with a look of agony written all over her face. Chinese food forgotten, he rushed to her side.

"Mary, what's wrong?" The only response he got was a grunt, "Do I need to call 911?" Mary shook her head and began to breathe deeply through her pain.

"I'm fine," she managed between breaths, "this is normal, and it's nothing I can't handle." Marshall raised an eyebrow at the word 'normal'.

"You clutching your stomach in agony is not normal, Mare," he began but was interrupted by his partner.

"It is when it's the third week of the month, Doofus!"

"Oh," Marshall was dumbfounded momentarily as the realization of what that signified dawned on him. He brought himself back together with his trademark, "tell me what you need."

"I need a uterus-ectomy; or whatever the hell it's called when they remove your uterus and send it to the deepest, darkest layer of hell it belongs in!"

"Well, how about I just take you home?" Marshall suggested. Mary leaned her head against her forearms; her blonde hair spilling downward. Her body shook with the sigh that escaped her and Marshall had to dare move closer to hear her response.

"I dun wanna," she was child-like as she whined, "people are there… I don't want to deal with them." Mary buried her face deeper into her arms and groaned.

"Well you're not going to be productive while you're in so much pain," Marshall gently argued and instantly felt like he was poking a famished tiger with a twig, "I'll leave a note for Stan explaining that you're not well. He won't expect us back until tomorrow."

"What makes you think I'll be any better tomorrow?" Mary didn't have to look at the eyebrow that he rose in question to realize that was a stupid question; Marshall knew her better than she knew herself. "Good point," she conceded, "where are you taking me?" Marshall opened the door for her as she got up from her desk and grabbed her bag. He smirked and followed her into the elevator.

"Did you know Queen Victoria would have her doctor prescribe her marijuana to ease the discomfort of her menstrual cramps?" Mary gave him a death glare, "Fine, I'm taking you to my place."

"I don't even want to begin to fathom why you know that," Mary punched the elevator button with purpose, "but I hope you have something a tad useful than getting me baked in that encyclopedia that you call a brain to help me out," she slumped against the wall, "because this month they are worse than usual!" Marshall waited until the elevator doors were completely closed before placing his hands on either side of her head and leaning in close to her face. Mary looked up and subconsciously licked her lips in anticipation as she realized their close proximity from his. His lips were millimeters from hers and she could feel his warm breath on her mouth. Cramps forgotten, she took a shuddering breath as she struggled to compose herself.

"I'm sure I could think of something," Marshall's breath danced across her lips as he spoke. She was unable to control her eyes as they fluttered shut in preparation for the kiss that usually followed when his voice got husky in this manner.

No kiss came. It took Mary a moment to realize that the elevator had, in fact, stopped and that her partner was no longer in front of her. Exiting the building, she found him leaning against the side of his truck; smirking like the Doofus that he was. "You're a jackass, you know that?" Marshall laughed as she made her way over to him.

"All a part of my charm," he held the door open for her as she responded with a grumble, "I assure you of that." He closed her door and made his way to the drivers' side. The engine roared to life and they were off. Marshall tracked her actions in his peripheral vision and noticed she was still clutching her abdomen and squeezing her eyes shut in agony. He offered her some reassurance, "We're almost there, Mare, hang on. Why don't you put the seat back so you can lie back?" She nodded with relief and did as he offered. Her normally stern features softened slightly in the more comfortable position. The rest of the ride was uneventful and Marshall was almost certain she had fallen asleep.

He hated to wake her when they arrived at his house. The only point in favor of doing so was the knowledge that she would be more comfortable inside. Bracing himself for a cranky Mary, he touched his hand to her cheek to savor the moment of peace. Taking a deep breath, he gently shook her shoulder.

"I've been awake for a couple minutes now, Numb-nuts," she said before even opening her eyes, "ever since you hit that god-forsaken pot hole that has taken up residence at the beginning of your street."

"I tried to avoid it, you know," he defended himself, "it was either hit it and pray you didn't wake up or swerve to miss it and risk you being in more pain from being jostled. Obviously God does not hear my prayers," he grinned at her. She huffed and got out of the car. Marshall shook his head and followed her to his front door. Mary let herself inside, made a beeline for the couch, and immediately fell face first onto it. She began speaking but it came out muffled due to the couch pillows. Marshall knelt on the floor next to her head and brushed her hair to the other side of her neck. He kissed her on the pulse point behind her ear before whispering to her.

"I can't understand you if you're speaking to the couch and not to my face," his breath was hot on her ear and she shivered involuntarily as she turned to face him. A blush crept onto her cheeks and she chose her words wisely.

"I don't have any… um… supplies," she brought her hair back around to hide the tinge of pink that now coated her cheeks. Marshall chuckled and moved her hair back to where he had put it.

"Tell me what you need," he repeated his earlier words and smiled as he noticed her blush redden, "Oh, come on, it can't be that bad."

That was one of the worst things he could have possibly said. Unfortunately, he realized this as he noticed Mary trying to conceal one of her evil 'I'm plotting your demise' smiles. He raised an eyebrow, suddenly self-aware of everything he said and did and how it could be used against him.

"Do you have a pen and paper? I'll make you a list," Mary turned over on her back and shifted so she was sitting against the arm rest with her knees bent upward, "you have brothers, so I'm assuming you've never had to deal extensively with this. That doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you."

"Bring it," his eyes held the glimmer they held when he was issued a new challenge. He was right where she wanted him. He handed her a notepad and pen from his pocket. She flipped through the first few pages of notes before she found a blank sheet. Cupping one hand around the edge, she began scribbling her list for him. He tried peeking around the offending hand but found it at his face, shoving him away. He turned and leaned his back against the couch and waited patiently for her to finish. Finally, he saw the small slip of paper dangling in his line of vision. Tentatively he reached up to take it from her and couldn't suppress a gulp as he read the list. He could practically hear Mary smirking at him.

"Think you can manage that?" her voice was coated with fake sugar. There was no way in hell he could back down from this. "Not to worry, my darling, it's all at my house," Mary snaked her arms around his shoulders and nipped at his earlobe, "of course, Brandi is there, so if you have any trouble at all, she can help you." Mary was having fun with this.

Marshall was not going to let her win this one. He had been picking up on her tells and what each one meant. The fact that she nipped at his ear indicated that 'Evil Mary' wanted to play. He was going to pull out the big guns on this one. Be began his trek to the door and called out over his shoulder as he opened the door, "Mare, do you know that urban legend that says if you lock yourself in a room that has a mirror and with no windows? The one where you say 'Bloody Mary' three times and she'll appear? Well, that's false; all they have to do is show up at our office during the third week of the month!" He shut the door just in time to hear her cursing his name out.

He started the truck and backed out of the driveway. He headed over to Mary's house prepared to answer questions about why he was picking up these particular items for his partner. They hadn't exactly come clean about their relationship to Mary's sister and mother; her words being 'curse' and something about Jinx living up to her name. Nevertheless, he parked in her driveway, let himself into the house, and announced his presence so Brandi wouldn't attack him with a baseball bat again. He didn't want to relive that day.

There was no answer as he moved through the living room and headed towards Mary's room. While feeling relieved at not having to explain himself, he also felt unsettled when he discovered no sign of the objects for which he was looking. He sat on the edge of her bed and tried to recall the slightest hint from his time with Mary that would indicate what to get in this situation. He wouldn't call her; calling her would give her the upper hand. He would have to do this on his own. He stood up with purpose and strode out of the house. He was a man on a mission. He chuckled to himself as he realized the pun he had thought up. _That was bad_ he thought as he climbed into the truck.

He navigated the streets of Albuquerque as he debated on what to do. He felt a small glimmer of relief about having the list in his possession. At least he had that to go on. He parked on the street at the first pharmacy he came to: a CVS. He took a deep breath as he walked in and stood in the doorway reading the signs that told him what was in each aisle. Finding the key words he was looking for, he headed back towards the pharmacy. He reached the consultation window and waited for assistance. The technician greeted him and told him the pharmacist would be with him momentarily. He nodded and could only imagine how red his face might have been. He leaned on the side of the window in an attempt to look composed. A woman with unruly curly hair and tiny figure approached the window. He read her name tag: _Andrea_.

"How can I help you?" she smiled at him.

"Did you know the formula for Coca-Cola was created by pharmacist John Pemberton and that only two people in the world know the secret recipe for Coca-Cola?" Marshall could have smacked himself in embarrassment. There was a time when random trivia to perfect strangers was not appropriate. This was one of those times. Andrea raised an eyebrow at him.

"No, I didn't, but I do know it used to be green," she leaned in closer, "what can I help you with?"

"I'm sorry, this is my first time doing this," Marshall raked his hand through his hair, "my girlfriend is having some pretty bad abdominal cramps and she sent me out for some things, and I didn't know if maybe you could help me," the words rushed out of his mouth before he could start spouting facts again. His cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"Oh, sure, I can help you with that. Is she allergic to anything? Is she taking any anti-coagulants? Are there any conditions that I should know about before I recommend something to you?"

Marshall's head spun with the sudden onslaught of her questions. Had this been a normal day, he would have been able to tell her anything about Mary that she needed to know. Today, however, he was drawing a blank. He took a deep breath to compose himself before answering. "She's not on any medication except for birth control and is otherwise the perfect picture of health," was his response.

"Okay, then, follow me," Andrea made her way into the aisle, "Motrin is my preferred brand of pain relief, but of course you can use the standard Tylenol. Warm compresses will also help relax her muscles. As for the other stuff on you list, I'm sorry to say, you'll be on your own. Every woman is different when it comes to what brands they prefer. I wish you the best of luck." She smiled at him before turning back to the pharmacy.

Marshall grabbed a bottle of Ibuprofen from the shelf and headed to the feminine care section. Immediately, he was bombarded with options and he felt his head swimming. He looked through the aisle and began to debate about whether or not to call Mary and just ask what she used. He had to force himself to put his phone back in its holster and turn back to the task at hand. Pads were out of the running as he couldn't picture her being comfortable when she was experiencing this while working. That left only one option. Sucking in a breath and praying for the second time that day that he was right, he grabbed a multi-pack off the shelf and headed towards the check out.

He passed the freezer section and picked up her favorite flavor of ice cream on impulse. He would give her more than what she needed. He was going to pass this challenge. Even if he failed at picking out the right supplies, he would get points for the ice cream. He paid for his items while ignoring the snickering kid with the faux hawk at the register and made his way home.

He made his way through the living room and noticed Mary was nowhere to be found. Marshall stood still to listen for any signs as to her whereabouts. Finally he was rewarded with the sound of a creaking bed. He climbed the stairs by twos and found her face down on his bed wearing his pirate flag pajamas. Not thinking she had noticed him yet, he took a moment to admire how they sat low on her hips exposing her lower back before the tank top covered the rest of her. He stepped into the room and she turned her head in his direction. Her eyes followed him as he took a seat on the bed beside her and traced his fingers lightly on the small of her back. Marshall leaned down and places a kiss to her lower spine before asking the question that had been on his mind throughout this whole ordeal, "you knew you had nothing in your house, didn't you?" Mary buried her face in the pillows in response. "Revenge will be swift and just," he brought his hand up her back to trace her spinal cord, "but it won't be today, or tomorrow. It will come when you least expect it; of that you can be sure, my love," he whispered into her ear before leaning down to kiss her shoulder. "Here," he handed her the bag, "you can congratulate me on a job well done when I come back." Marshall stood up and went into the bathroom.

Mary grinned and began to rifle through the bag. Her eyes lit up with glee as the ice cream was revealed to her, "you wonderful Mann! You brought me chippies with mint!" Marshall let out a laugh at her way of saying Mint Chocolate Chip.

"Yes, I did. I was hoping for brownie points," Marshall exited the bathroom with two spoons in one hand and a wet washcloth in another, "now let me take care of you for once." He indicated that she should lie on her back. He propped her up so she could sit between his legs with him against the headboard. Lifting her tank top, he placed the warm washcloth on her abdomen and peppered kissed on her neck and shoulder.

Mary let her head roll back onto his shoulder and shut her eyes. The warm compress felt really good on her aching muscles. The kisses were a whole other realm of wonderful. She turned her head to look at him and placed a lingering kiss on his lips. She felt him smile.

"Did I pass?" he smiled hopefully at her. Her eyes twinkled mischievously.

"You lost points for the 'Bloody Mary' comment, but gained them back with the ice cream and Motrin," she grinned, "who taught you the warm compress trick though?"

"What kind of Marshal would I be if I didn't have my resources? It's one of the reasons I'm so good at what I do," he preened and added _thank you Andrea_ in his thoughts to the end of that sentence. Mary snuggled against him and cracked open the ice cream.

"I'm bloated enough, are you going to help me with this?" It was a rare moment for Mary Shannon to share a prized treat, but she felt Marshall deserved it. "Also, I've been meaning to ask, how'd you learn about the creator of the formula for Coca-Cola? That's been on my mind all afternoon." With her back to him, he couldn't see her mocking grin.

"I want to know how YOU knew about it," he craned his neck around to look her in the eyes. Mary bit her lip to refrain from laughing out loud.

"I may or may not have an acquaintance who's a pharmacist in a certain local pharmacy, and I may or may not have mentioned your habit of rattling off useless information as a nervous habit to her once or twice," Mary shrugged innocently, "and she may or may not have called me to tell me you were in her pharmacy asking her advice on what to get. Bonus points for asking for directions; unlike most men." Marshall was shocked. He regained lucidity and began to tickle her sides.

"You are so going to pay for this," he growled into her ear before flipping their positions to him being on top of her and her laughing uncontrollably beneath him. The ice cream was temporarily forgotten as Marshall exacted some of his overdue payback.

**Wow, this was long! We broke 10,000 words! I'm so tired now! I hope you enjoyed it, I was kind of unsure about it. Please let me know what you thought in a review! More to come, stay tuned!**

**LP**

**PS… I feel the need to point out that I do not own Coca-Cola (nor am I one of the two people who know the formula), I don't own CVS (I just work there as a Pharmacy Technician), I don't own Bayer or Johnson & Johnson products, and Andrea is actually one of my staff pharmacists. She will never know… :-P**


	6. Stargazing

**So, this was written as a birthday present for greenstuff and it got some great reviews over at Mary_Marshall on LJ so I thought I'd post it here too! Please let me know what you thought! I'd never written anything like this before!**

**I don't own IPS… I just dream about it…**

**LP**

"Where could you possibly be taking me at 12:30 in the morning?" Mary sat in the passenger seat with her arms folded across her chest. When Marshall remained silent, she huffed and reclined back to catch up on some of the sleep that Marshall had stolen from her.

He had used his key to let himself into her house and into her bedroom. She woke up startled and reaching for her gun; only to have Marshall block her hand on its way to the night stand. He only offered two words, "Come on," before leaving her bedroom to wait for her in the kitchen.

Why Mary decided to follow him was beyond her. Before she knew it, she was putting on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt before exiting her room to meet him. He held the door for her as she left the house; which brought them to this moment.

They had been driving for a half an hour and Marshall had not said one word about where they were going. To be precise, he hadn't said one word period. Every attempt she made at getting him to talk was merely met with a mischievous grin and a flash of amusement in his eyes; nothing else.

So Mary begrudgingly settled for the silence as she attempted to make herself comfortable in the seat. The lights outside the windows of the truck had lulled her into a hypnotic state when Marshall stopped driving and killed the engine. Mary jerked forward at the sudden movement.

"What the hell, Marshall?" she looked at him in annoyance. Her frustration grew as he continued to respond to her in facial expressions and not words. He smiled at her as he reached into his back seat and pulled a backpack out. He gave her a look that told her to follow him and he started to walk into the darkened area ahead of him.

Not wanting to be left alone, she hurried after him. His strides were long and hurried and she had to jog; something she hated doing. Reaching out, she grabbed onto the back of his jacket; causing him to stumble backwards a step. Mary thanked god for the cover of darkness when a blush crept across her cheeks as her hand fell to his ass. She pulled her hand back; embarrassed about where it had landed.

Marshall turned to steady her and smirked down, "you ok?"

"Oh, now you talk!" she glared as she shoved her hands into the pocket of her hoodie; "All I had to do was touch your ass?" the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. She feigned cold and pulled her hood over her head to hide her flaming cheeks.

"I assure you, that had nothing to do with it," Marshall leaned in and whispered into her ear. His breath was warm contrasted to the chilly, early morning air and she shivered in response. He pulled away and began his brisk pace on the trail.

She caught up to him once more; this time grabbing his arm so she could keep pace.

"You couldn't wait until morning to go hiking?" she whined, "I'm sure we'd get a better view during daylight hours."

"It is morning," he answered her, "and just trust me, ok? We're almost there."

As if on cue, the woods parted to reveal a spacious summit facing the desert. Marshall walked up to the edge and set down his backpack. Mary stood a few feet back as he shook out a large blanket and laid it on the ground. He patted the space beside him as he sat down. Mary took the few steps between them carefully; she was clumsy when sleep deprived and could see her self falling off the mountain.

Sitting down, she turned to look at him; there was a new moon so she was barely able to make out his silhouette against the sky. Following his upward gaze, she let out a gasp at the view. Billions of stars dotted the navy canvas. There was no cloud cover and the stars were the only illumination around for miles. Somewhere deep in the desert, a coyote let out a howl. Mary shivered and subconsciously moved closer to Marshall.

He had moved so he was lying on his back with his arms supporting his head. He wrapped an arm around Mary's shoulder as she moved against him; her head resting in the crook of his shoulder.

"See why this couldn't wait till daylight?" Marshall smiled as he felt Mary nod against his arm, "Tonight isn't just any night; it's the peak of one of the most spectacular light shows of the year."

"Huh?" Mary was confused, "Light show?"

"Yeah, the Perseid meteor shower is at its peak tonight," Marshall patiently explained, "You see that pattern of stars over there? That's Perseus. The meteors come from that direction so keep your eyes open."

Mary gasped for the second time that night as one streaked across the sky. Her eyes followed it as it faded in the atmosphere.

Marshall's voice was in her ear once more, "Make a wish." She could feel his lips against the sensitive skin of her earlobe and she failed at suppressing the moan that escaped her lips. Her moan seemed to encourage him as she felt his lips kiss a path behind her ear and down to her neck. She reached a hand up to run through his hair.

Reaching around to the back of his head, she brought his face to level with hers. His eyes reflected the starlight that shone in hers as she pulled him down to kiss her. They tested the waters with slow and brief kisses before Mary darted her tongue against his lips to taste him. He tasted like coffee and pie. He responded in kind as he opened to her advances.

Tongues dueled and hands roamed as the stars shot across the sky. Mary could feel him pressed against her as his hands caressed her breasts under the sweatshirt. She tugged at his jacket as she yearned to feel the skin beneath. Her hands slipped beneath the garment and bypassed his shirt and she raked her nails along his ribcage. She was rewarded with a throaty moan from her partner.

His desire grew with Mary's and soon they found themselves exposed from the waist up to the elements. Goosebumps peppered their skin as the cool breeze surrounding them made their nipples harden even more. Mary arched her back as Marshall closed his lips around one while playing with the other. She ran her nails along his spine as she threw her head back. She saw ecstasy in the stars above; she was feeling things no one had ever made her feel.

And she liked it.

Forcing her mind to regain some semblance of control as her fingers danced around his belt buckle. Marshall ground his hips against her as he moved back up to kiss her neck and lips.

"So beautiful," he murmured against her before capturing her mouth with his.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he rolled them over so she was straddling him. Their fingers were frenzied as they fiddled with the buttons on each others' pants. Mary was done first and Marshall's cock sprang free from its denim prison. He shuddered as her hand closed around it for the first time. He was helpless as he saw the look of hunger in her eyes. She began to pump it; slowly at first then varying in speed and pressure.

She was merciful, at least he thought; when she slowed her pace. Slowly, he began to open his eyes only to have his vision blurred as he felt her mouth on him. It was his turn to see stars; both figuratively and literally. He felt nothing but her tongue lavishing his penis as she sucked and kissed him. He ran his hands through her hair as he thrust his hips to get more of her. When she stopped, he couldn't help but whimper.

He growled as he flipped them back over. Mary let out a surprised squeal as he immediately pumped two fingers into her. "Let's see how you like it," he whispered huskily into her ear, "tell me what you need."

Her eyes crossed in pleasure and she saw double of the stars above her head as Marshall quickened his pace. The pressure in her belly grew more and more unstable with each pump of his fingers. She felt him add his thumb to the mix. He rubbed her clit with it as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. Finally, her body convulsed in orgasm as Marshall pressed his fingers even deeper inside of her; as if trying to feel every crevice. He kissed her the entire time and withdrew his hand from her.

Her eyes followed his tongue as he licked his fingers. She could feel her desire growing yet again as his eyes locked onto hers. Slowly, his hand travelled up her side, along her shoulder, and to the back of her neck as he pulled her up to kiss him. She gasped sharply as he buried himself inside her.

He groaned as he filled every inch of her. She still quivered from her first orgasm as he withdrew to the tip and thrust in again. Her hips rose to meet his as he filled her yet again. Their kisses became frenzied once more as they found a comfortable rhythm. It was slow on the withdrawal and sharp on the thrusts. Their desires raged within them as they sought release.

Marshall braced himself on his forearms and looked down at the woman below him. Never before had she looked as beautiful as she did now. Even in the darkness, he could define her flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and breathless expression. He placed loving kiss on her cheeks, lips and forehead as he continued to show her how much he loved her on the mountain top.

Release came and they collapsed in a pile of sweaty limbs on the summit. Daylight was beginning to break on the horizon and Mary could see Marshall's face clearly for the first time. His hair was sweaty and matted to his face. She brought a finger up to brush it from his eyes as he leaned down to kiss her. As he pulled back, she was able to watch the sunrise reflected in his eyes.

And it was beautiful.


	7. Sick

Mary felt miserable; her head hurt, her throat was raw, her gastrointestinal system was on some sort of strike, and she was pretty sure she pulled a muscle in her neck from all the coughing she'd been doing.

At least her house was empty. Mary didn't think she could handle Jinx's "mothering" techniques. Seriously, her so-called "chicken soup" would make Baby Jesus cry.

And don't get her started on Brandi. Mary was sure Brandi wouldn't even acknowledge the disease that raged through her body like hurricane Katrina through New Orleans. Nothing was deterring it from letting her be. She'd been sick for the past week with no sign of relief.

Marshall had been sure to call her every day. He was on a witness transfer with Charlie. It was Charlie's first transfer as a WITSEC Inspector and Mary prayed to any deity that would listen that nothing eventful would happen.

Damn, it was quiet in this house.

Mary laid her head back on the pillows and turned on the TV for some background noise. She wasn't sure exactly what it was that was on but it helped assuage her loneliness. She closed her eyes and begged sleep to take her.

It was a few hours later when Mary blearily opened her eyes. She lay still for a moment trying to determine if she woke up because her body told her to or if there was an outside source jarring her from her precious sleep.

Sure enough, there came a sound from her kitchen. Out of habit, she grabbed her gun and groaned as her body protested the movement. Rebelling against her protesting body, she pushed her blanket off of her and swung her legs off the couch. Clutching her head as she stood up, Mary resisted the pull of gravity as she took slow steps towards the offending noises.

Five steps was too much for her body to handle and she succumbed to the jelly-like feeling in her legs and the wave of dizziness and nausea that scurried through her body like a mischief of rats during the Plague.

The resulting sound of her body hitting the floor caused Marshall to peek around the kitchen door. He rushed over to her limp form.

"Mare! What are you doing up?" Marshall lifted her like she weighed nothing and brought her back to her post on the couch. He sat at her feet and ran a cool hand over her forehead and through her hair. "Geez, Mary, you're burning up," he said as he wiped a cool cloth over her face.

Mary leaned into the sensation and didn't even bother questioning why he was here. She'd never admit that she actually appreciated the company; Marshall probably knew it anyway. If it were anyone else, she'd do her best to get them to leave her alone. She didn't like people seeing her vulnerable like this; Marshall was the exception. She felt him lift her head up and he shifted so he could lay it back down in his lap. His fingers combed through her hair as she let the cool cloth do its job.

The feeling of Marshall's gentle fingers in her hair lulled her into a hypnotic slumber.

When she awoke an hour later, she was in her own bed. Marshall lay next to her reading a book. She turned over to face him and he put his book down as he noticed her movement. He placed his hand to her forehead once more and a smile made its way onto his face.

"Your temperature is back to normal," he stroked the top of her head, "how are you feeling?"

Mary opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a wheeze before she began to violently cough. Her neck jerked and her hand flew to clutch it in pain. She couldn't stop coughing and her neck hurt more with the slightest movement.

Marshall handed her a bottle of water and moved to rub her neck. She lifted the water to her lips and took a long sip to help alleviate the coughing. He waited until she was finished before guiding her onto her stomach.

"What are you doing, Pervis?" she mumbled. She was too sore and tired to resist.

"Just relax, Mare," he whispered close to her ear, "let me help you."

She buried her face in the pillow she was hugging as Marshall's fingers worked out the kink in her neck. His thumbs worked in circles around her vertebrae as his longer fingers massaged her scalp. He pushed his thumbs into her skin and manipulated the muscles towards the top of her neck.

Slowly he began to work his way to her shoulders using the same circular motions. He got under her shoulder blades, along her spine, and finally to her lower back. Once there, he rested a knee on each side of her waist and began to apply more pressure. Mary moaned appreciatively as her lower back cracked back into place.

She could practically hear him grin as he began to rake his fingers lightly up and down her back beneath her shirt. They wandered all over her torso, ribs, and shoulders. She shivered reflexively as he scratched over her sides. The scratches turned to soft caresses over her skin and she felt him return to his position beside her on the bed; one hand rubbing her back, the other holding his book. She sighed contentedly as her eyes drifted shut once again lulled by the actions of his hands.

Marshall smiled affectionately at the sleeping woman beside him before putting his book down and lying down beside her. He draped an arm loosely across her waist and nuzzled the pillow beneath him. It smelled like her. He began to trace circles along her side and she gave a subconscious sigh of contentment. He would be here when she woke up.

And he might be sick as a dog but it would be totally and competely worth it.


	8. High School Reunion

**This was written as a Secret Snowflake gift for scifidvm over at the Mary_Marshall community on LJ. I tacked it onto "Situations" because I feel like it fits the theme of the story (a series of one shots featuring our favorite marshals in situations that only fanfic writers will dare put them in).**

**That being said, I hope everyone has/had a good holiday! Enjoy!**

Even with Mary's long blonde hair shielding her from view, Marshall could tell she was anxious. Had she been holding a bottle of beer, the label would be picked clean. But she didn't have a bottle; she had the hem of her dress. The stitching didn't stand a chance against the nervous picking of her fingers. Marshall knew he had to intervene.

"Tell me why I allowed you to drag me to my high school reunion again?" She beat him to it.

"Because you lost a bet, and I never redeemed my prize."

Mary bit her lip as she tried to remember exactly which bet it she'd lost. Something involving Stan, a burrito, and a cactus came to mind; though she was fuzzy on the details.

"Wasn't that like 2 years ago?"

"Yep."

"Isn't there some sort of statute of limitations?"

"Nope."

"This is unlikely to end well," Mary gave a frustrated sigh as she raked her fingers through her hair. Her engagement ring caught on a particularly stubborn strand. "Stupid, ostentatious piece of shit!"

"You could always flip it upside down," Marshall treaded lightly knowing she was in a foul mood already, "or keep it on a chain." He just didn't want to look at it. It was impossible to avoid in sunny Albuquerque where the sun was constantly reflecting off of it.

At least here in Paramus, New Jersey it was overcast; however, Marshall couldn't help but see it. The ring taunted him as if it were forged by Sauron himself. It tormented him to the point where he envisioned ripping it off her finger and throwing it somewhere so that it would never be found again.

The day he was forced to wear it was one of the most agonizing days of all. It beckoned to him. He could tell she was tired of carrying the ring's burden as well. Being a good Samwise, he shouldered it for her. She had slammed it onto the table in front of him and he was helpless to resist.

The whole time he felt as if the Nazgul were about to swoop in on him. Wearing that ring brought on a sense of foreboding. It spoke to him; taunted him. 'She'll never be yours,' its voice sounded like Raphael's – it was in his mind. He couldn't rid himself of it.

Mary grumbled from her spot in the passenger seat. She'd wanted to drive but Marshall knew better. She wouldn't have gotten them to their destination. He could see her twisting it out of the corner of his eye. She would bring the gaudy piece of flair halfway past her knuckle then push it down again; as if she couldn't decide if she wanted to wear it or not.

"You don't have to wear it, you know."

Mary gave a heavy sigh and continued her internal debate. She hadn't reached a final decision by the time Marshall pulled up to the familiar student parking lot of Paramus High School.

Almost every space was filled and Mary felt a rush of anxiety. She attempted to calm herself by taking deep breaths but quick, shallow ones was all that came out. She _really_ hadn't liked high school.

Marshall noticed her panicked expression and reached over to squeeze her shoulder. When her breathing didn't even out, he applied pressure to the muscle joining her shoulder and neck together. He began to rub in a circular motion. Eventually her breaths were less erratic and she turned to face him. Her eyes shone with tears she hadn't dared to shed and he caught his first glimpse of how vulnerable teenage Mary really was.

"We don't have to go in," Marshall was giving her an out.

With a new found sense of courage and vigor, Mary shook off his hand and opened her door. Chin held high, she made her way towards the gymnasium doors. Marshall jogged to catch up to her. Once he did, he matched her stride and never wavered from his position: behind and to the right like the good sentinel he was.

The party was in full swing as Mary and Marshall entered. Streamers hung from the rafters and strobe lights flashed seemingly to the base of the music that blasted from the speakers. A sign greeted them: "Welcome Class of 1989!"

At first glance, anyone but Marshall would have thought her look of disdain was directed at the sign. Marshall knew better. He knew her well enough to follow the path her eyes made until he too was looking at a tall dark haired woman with a glass of wine in one hand and a stack of (what looked to be) magazines in the other.

"Marshall," her voice was shaky beneath a thin veil of confidence.

Had it been anyone other than Marshall listening, they wouldn't have known the difference. To him, she was always bad at masking her true feelings. He stepped up closer and did a mental threat assessment of the room.

"I'm right here, Mare," he whispered in her ear as he placed a hand on her middle back. He smiled as she leaned back slightly. The moment was fleeting and Mary was upright within yoctoseconds.

"Do not leave me alone with her," her eyes were still locked on the raven-haired woman. The woman may have realized she was being scrutinized because her head snapped in their direction and a smile spread across her features.

"Anything I need to know about?" Marshall was still whispering as Mary shifted uncomfortably.

"I broke her nose in fourth grade," she mumbled.

Before he could formulate a response, the woman had strutted her way over to them; her heels clicking on the wooden gymnasium floor. Sure enough, as she got closer, Marshall could notice a slight crook in her nose. It wasn't so noticeable that someone who wasn't looking for it would see it; however, since Mary had mentioned it, Marshall saw it.

"Mary Shannon!" Her nasally voice grated on his nerves as if her perfectly manicured nails were scraping against the smoothest of chalkboards. Up close, she reminded him of a more attractive Fran Drescher – equally as annoying, however.

"Ellie Brant!"

Marshall recognized his partner's tone as the same one she used when her mother had shown up on her doorstep uninvited. Fake happiness paired with wide, surprised looking eyes; this was Mary's "I'm not happy to see you in the slightest but I'm trying to make nice" face. She was the mistress of it.

"We're so glad you could make it!" Ellie put her wine on the table and grabbed a magazine to hand to Mary. It was then that she noticed Marshall. "Well, well, well! Who do we have here? You don't look familiar, I would definitely remember you."

"This is Marshall," Mary gestured to him with her left hand, "he's my partner." Her ring caught the light of the strobe above their heads.

"Oh your _partner_, eh?" Ellie winked at Mary before offering her hand to Marshall for him to shake while looking him up and down.

"Marshall Mann," Marshall obliged her with a coy grin of his own as he shook her hand – making no move to correct her assumption. He withdrew his hand from Ellie's grasp and made an effort to look more relaxed by putting both his hands in his pants pockets.

Mary hadn't bothered to correct her either.

The next couple of hours passed by in a similar manner. Mary made nice with people she didn't seem to like and Marshall remained faithfully beside her. People naturally assumed Marshall was the one to give her the ring that adorned her left finger.

A tall blonde haired man sauntered up to Mary. Marshall noticed a quick eye roll before turning on the fake smile.

"Neil! How are you?"

Marshall regretted the sip of his drink he'd just taken. He coughed as Mary turned to introduce him with a cheeky smile on her face. She was enjoying this part at least.

"Hi, Marshall Mann," he shook the man's hand as he sized him up. He was perhaps an inch shorter than himself with brown eyes and a muscular build.

"Neil Armstrong," the man smiled as he looked Marshall up and down. Behind him, Marshall could see Mary holding back laughter. 'I'll be damned,' he thought, 'she was telling the truth!'

"I'm a big fan," Marshall grinned as he recovered from the shock.

"Yeah, I've never heard that before," Neil grinned back before turning his attention back to Mary.

She was good at making the small talk; Marshall had to admit that. She took great pride in telling people that she was a United States Marshal and that she had managed to get out of Paramus.

It was after her fifth glass of wine that Mary excused herself to the restroom. Without words, Marshall inquired about her mental well-being. Mary merely nodded before handing him her glass and walking away.

She'd been quiet the entire evening. From what he could gather from the body language of his partner and the people she spoke to, things had been tense throughout her years at this school. He couldn't exactly discern why but he assumed it was because of her family. With James gone and Jinx a drunk, Marshall could see how other kids would make Mary be the outcast.

Mary made her way to the bathrooms with little difficulty. She'd spent enough time smoking in them to know where they were. Her fingers twitched with a habit long-forgotten; she felt like she needed a cigarette to complete the sad story of the evening.

Nothing and no one had changed. Almost everyone had stayed in town doing exactly what their parents did. Ellie now managed the Hudson City Savings on Century Road (just like her father once did). Word through the grapevine was that Ellie tried her hand in the pageant circuit but never managed to clinch a first place finish. The addendum to that rumor was that she blamed Mary for breaking her nose in fourth grade. She shook her head clear of the thoughts pertaining to 'what could have been' as she opened the door to the ladies' room.

She hated Marshall for making her come tonight. High school hadn't been the best four years of her life. People like Ellie had made it a living nightmare for her.

She had just entered the stall when she heard the doors open and two sets of heels clicked on the tile.

"I can't believe Shannon showed up," Liz's voice echoed against the tile walls.

"I know, right?" Chrissie snorted with disgust, "She was a walking disaster. It's amazing she made it anywhere in life."

"I, for one, am glad she came," Ellie's unmistakable voice pierced the conversation, "otherwise I wouldn't have her man candy to look at."

"He's a little too geeky for my tastes. Remember how she used to hang out with that allergic kid? What was his name… Johnny?" Chrissie laughed, "That kid was allergic to everything! Whatever happened to him?"

Mary shook her head. All of a sudden, the bathroom stall was really small. Making an effort to remain discreet, she stood slowly and willed the other women to leave the restroom.

"I think he moved away," Liz mused as she zipped up her makeup bag.

"No, he died," Ellie corrected her as she gathered up her things.

Mary bit her lip as tears began to form in her eyes. She fought them back as the women left the bathroom – their heels clicking over their chatter.

Mary burst from the stall as soon as they left and leaned against the opposite wall. Memories came flooding back to her as she stood and staggered to the door. The room was spinning as she looked for the exit. Lights pulsated and music thumped but all Mary heard were the voices of Liz, Chrissie and Ellie.

"_She was a walking disaster…"_

"_It's amazing she made it anywhere in life…"_

"_What was his name… Johnny?"_

"Jimmy," the name was a ghost on her lips. Her hands fumbled with the handle of the gymnasium door. Finally, she was free and able to step out into the cool evening air.

Kicking off her shoes, she made her way towards the football field. The sky was still cloudy and the air smelled of rain. The tears didn't start flowing until she was in the middle of the field. A breeze danced across her arms and she hugged herself as the chill danced through her body.

She started as she felt something drape over her shoulders. Her sentinel stood behind her looking at her with concern.

"We work in a job where we see people change their lives completely, yet I am amazed at how some people don't seem to be able to change at all," Mary looked up at the sky and wished for it to swallow her.

"Some people don't know how to change," Marshall's voice was soft, "some people only change when they're forced to."

"How can some people be so uncaring?" Mary's eyes plead with him to answer her, "he was only thirteen." Her voice trailed off and Marshall barely heard it.

"Who was only thirteen?" Marshall had to physically restrain himself from holding her close. Whatever this was, it was stirring up a lot of painful memories. She would need to work through it.

"Jimmy," she whispered as she hugged the jacket tighter around her shoulders. "He was my best friend. He was allergic to everything and I had a daddy who abandoned us. We were misfits, outcasts. We played together every day. We were each others' first kiss." Tears shone in her eyes and a couple escaped her ducts onto her cheek as the memories came flooding back to her. The rain had started and mixed with her salty tears. She took a few shuddering breaths to calm herself.

Marshall had to physically restrain himself once again from comforting her. This was something she needed to get through.

"One day we had a fight. I don't remember why I was mad at him but I was. We were thirteen. I kicked him out of the house and he left. He told me he'd be back later when I wasn't so mad. He never came back." Mary didn't even bother to stop the tears. "I found out later that he'd been in a car accident. A drunk driver hit him while he was on his bike and pinned him to a pole."

Marshall couldn't hold back anymore. One step was all it took to envelop her in his arms. As soon as he did, her knees buckled and he guided her gently to the wet grass. The rain began to fall harder but neither of them seemed to notice. He rocked her back and forth – all the while his heart breaking for his thirteen year old partner.

"I was so angry with him for not coming back. I thought he had left me too. It turned out he did – just not willingly." She clung to his shirt as she cried. She'd never talked with anyone about Jimmy but this didn't surprise her. Marshall always seemed to know how to get things out of her.

Neither of them knew how long they sat out there in the rain but eventually Mary regained strength in her legs and moved to stand. Ever the gentleman, Marshall stood first and held out a hand to help her up. She accepted and allowed him to help her up. Her balance wavered and he moved a hand to her waist to steady her. His eyes held her gaze and she was entranced by the raindrops that clung to his eyelashes and the way his hair matted to his forehead.

She wouldn't admit it aloud but the man looked good in his charcoal and black suit. Despite this being his entire fault, she couldn't help but be grateful for his presence. He was her silent sentinel, her one man entourage, her partner. He'd vowed to never leave her and thus far had yet to renege on that promise. Without her shoes, she was significantly shorter than him. She had to stand on her tiptoes in order to kiss his cheek and whisper a 'thank you' into his ear.

The way his hand tightened on her hip as she whispered sent a surge of longing through her. She unconsciously moved her lips closer to his ear and lightly licked his earlobe.

It was just enough for him to pull her flush against his body. She could feel the definition of his muscles beneath his wet shirt as she braced herself against his chest. Mary curled her fingers into his pectorals as he moved both arms around her waist. His fingers dug into the skin beneath her soaking wet dress as he held her tight.

She moved her lips from his earlobe to the sensitive skin behind the cartilage and underneath his jaw line. His slight stubble tickled her lips but she didn't let that deter her exploration. She had made her way to the pulse point on his neck when he dipped his head sharply to capture her lips with his. Her eyes flew open with surprise.

The man was pure fire. His lips burned her skin with the contrast of the cold rain as she allowed her eyes to flutter shut in ecstasy. Mary felt his request for entry and she opened herself to him. The musculature of his tongue was stronger than she would have ever realized. It wasn't too overpowering. Like in everything else, he was her equal.

Finally realizing the situation they found themselves in they broke apart with a great feat of strength. Marshall's jacket had fallen to the ground and gravity caused the rain to trickle into her cleavage.

She looked him up and down; his need showing through the second skin of his pants.

"Mare," his voice was laced with want.

"You're always there," she was twisting the ring again. Marshall gulped as he braced himself for the sting of rejection.

"I always will be," want was replaced with pleading hope.

She pulled the ring past the second knuckle as she furrowed her brow in thought. Finally, it came off her finger and she held it out for Marshall to take.

"Remind me to give this back to Raphael when we get home?"

Marshall's jaw dropped so low that he swore he could taste the grass. He took it from her; becoming Samwise once again. He would carry this burden for her across Mordor until it was time for her to destroy it in the fiery depths of Mount Doom.

Before he knew it, she had walked past him. She grabbed his hand as she passed by and tugged him along. His feet moved of their own accord as she led him back to the SUV.

He regained his senses just as they reached the car. He stopped moving and tugged her back to him. Once again, she was pressed against his body. He kissed her with everything he felt. He held her waist tight as he dipped her slightly with the force of his kiss. The rain continued to fall around them as they explored each other completely. Her hands wound around his neck and played with the soaking wet hair on the nape of his neck. He clutched one hand tighter around her lower back as the other hand made its way down her backside.

She groaned against him as she held his head in place. She could do this forever; kissing Marshall was such an amazing experience. It was through sheer force of willpower that she was able to pull away. Both were breathless as they parted.

"Is this what I think it is?" Marshall was the first to regain the power of speech.

"Well that depends on what you think it is," Mary smiled coyly up at him as she turned to enter the car.

He couldn't resist a pinch to his hand. When he felt it, a slow grin crept across his features. As he climbed into the drivers' side of the SUV, he reached into his pocket and felt the ring sitting there. It was definitely what he thought it was.

Mary was already buckled in to her seat and watching the rain trickle down the window. She had a lazy smile on her features as if all her problems had suddenly vanished. Marshall swelled with pride as he realized that he played a major part in that smile. He reached over to take her hand in his. She looked over at him and squeezed it. He squeezed back before letting go to start the car and put it in gear.

The ride back to the hotel passed in relative silence. The partners were content to listen to the sound of the rain hitting the roof of the vehicle. There had been enough talking tonight.


	9. Birthday

**This one is very much rated M... written as a really late Christmas gift for greenstuff! Thanks to Dispatchvampire for the beta! All errors are mine and mine alone... Read on and enjoy!**

**LP, CPhT**

* * *

The countdown had begun. Marshall stared balefully at the calendar on his kitchen wall. He hadn't marked anything on the date; he knew exactly what it was. It happened every year on the same day.

Marshall Mann's birthday was coming up… in fourteen days to be exact. He sighed into his cornflakes. Another year had almost passed and he had nothing new to show for it. He was in the same place that he had been in five years ago.

His soggy cornflakes stared back with equal remorse. Even inanimate objects seemed to mimic the misery he felt. The weather had been overcast for days and the scent of desert rain lingered in the air.

Sure he made fun of Mary for hating her birthday. He wasn't oblivious to how hypocritical he was being. Though, in all fairness, she hated everything. Marshall liked to think that he was her personal self help guru.

He'd known for a long time how deeply he was in love with his partner. The fact that it was taboo did nothing to quench the fire he held for her.

She'd nearly married Raphael and he could feel the physical pain of his heart crushing as she slid the engagement ring towards him.

That day he'd let it slip. He had told her that he loved her. Truthfully, he'd hoped it had sounded like an "atta girl" kind of way but he knew better. So did she and she didn't do anything about it. If she were interested, she'd make a move.

Nevertheless, his birthday was coming up on May 18th. It was a Wednesday. He hoped no one would remember. Marshall would just carry on as if it were any normal day.

Realistically, Eleanor would remember. This meant there would be a party. Maybe he could approach her and ask her not to acknowledge it. He'd have to think of a tactful way of putting it; the woman thrived on manners and remembering things that no one else would.

His cornflakes were beyond hope. Marshall stood from the stool he'd been sitting on and made his way to the sink. He braced both arms on the sink as he watched the water rinse the soggy cereal into the garbage disposal. It was time for the countdown to begin. Maybe if he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't have to deal with it.

The next two weeks passed with blissful ignorance. If anyone knew about his impending birthday, then no one mentioned it. Finally, Wednesday May 18th rolled around. His alarm went off at the same time it usually did, he ate the same bowl of cornflakes, and wore the same belt buckle. Nothing about today should be different.

He was heading out the door when nearly tripped over his niece, Natalie, holding up a card that was covered in macaroni and glitter. He gripped the railing on his porch as he reached out a hand to steady her.

"Happy Birfday, Uncle Mawshall!" she seemed unfazed as she launched herself at him and hugged him around the legs.

"She's missed you, String Bean," his older brother Rick poked his head out from the side of his house. The surprised look on Marshall's face was enough to make the older Mann brother to start laughing. "I've procured you two tickets to the jellyfish exhibit at the BioPark Aquarium."

Marshall picked Natalie up and rested her on his hip as he made his way over to his brother.

"It's good to see you, Rick," Marshall held out his free hand to shake.

Instead of shaking Marshall's hand, he grabbed it and pulled him into a group hug.

"It's been too long, little bro," Rick hugged his brother and daughter, "Happy Birthday. She's all yours for the day," Rick pulled away and kissed Natalie on the cheek while ruffling Marshall's hair.

"Ack! Stop it!" Marshall swatted his hands away, "You know I hate it when you do that." He tried vainly to comb his hair back into its usual unmussed style. Natalie merely giggled at her uncle and dad's shenanigans.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" Marshall began to tickle her and her giggles developed into full-blown laughter. He stopped when she began gasping for air and hugged her tight before setting her down. She ran into the house.

"You want to come in? I have to call the office anyway to let them know I won't be in. Mary will probably have a conniption," Marshall chuckled as he held the door open for his brother.

"Ah, yes, the famous Mary Shannon!" Rick reached into the cabinet for a glass and poured himself a glass of water.

"What did Dad tell you?" Marshall cast a shifty side-glance in Rick's direction.

"Nothing you don't already know, little bro," Rick turned and leaned against the counter to face Marshall. He smirked, "that she saved his life… that she will defend you on Judgment Day… oh, and that you're head over heels for her."

"Dad always was observant in a creepy, old-man way," Marshall rolled his eyes.

"I don't hear any denial."

"There's nothing to deny. Mary Shannon is completely the opposite from the girl I always imagined falling for," Marshall poured himself some orange juice. It had been a long time since he could be this candid with someone. Rick was Marshall's hero growing up. They were eight years apart and anytime the school kids picked on Marshall for being too smart, Rick was right there to defend him.

He was a former Marine who specialized in covert ops. He proposed to his wife, Jen, the day he got back from his first tour of duty. They had Natalie after less than a year of marriage. Marshall was named proud godfather.

There was one more Mann brother: David. David was four years younger than Rick and completely lived up to the "middle child syndrome" stereotype. Growing up, he isolated himself from his brothers and tried to make his own identity separate from the Manns. After college, he joined up with the CIA. Currently he was in an undisclosed location. He checked in with their mother about once a month. That's all the contact he would bother to make.

"So what are you going to do while Nat and I are at the aquarium?"

"Oh, I'll just kick my feet up and relax for a while. Jen is visiting her mother for a week. She says hello, by the way." To make his point, Rick walked into the living room and propped his feet up on Marshall's coffee table.

Marshall cringed then laughed as Natalie hopped up onto the couch to mimic her father's actions.

"Hey, Munchie," Marshall crouched down in the doorway, "want to play airplane?"

Natalie's eyes got wide as she launched herself off the couch and ran full speed into Marshall's extended arms. Marshall hoisted her over his shoulder and began running throughout the house while making airplane noises. He made one lap through the kitchen before returning to the living room and tossing her back onto the couch.

"I'll be right back," he held up his cell phone and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, Stan… I won't be able to make it in today. Rick brought Natalie down," he listened to Stan on the other end, "right. Yeah, have fun telling Mary that! Thanks." Marshall flipped his phone shut and stepped back into the living room. "Ready to go?" Marshall held out Natalie's jacket.

Natalie just nodded vigorously. He helped her with the jacket and they headed out the door.

"Have fun, you two!" Marshall heard Rick call out just before the door closed.

Meanwhile, back at the office, Mary stared at the calendar on her desk. There was something about today's date that she should know about. If it was an appointment, she would have written it in red marker. There were no trials today, no important witness events. She just couldn't put her finger on it. Stan poked his head out of his office and interrupted her thought process.

"I need you to go check on Marshall's witness today," he held onto the doorframe as he leaned forward.

"Which one? And why can't Doofus do it himself?"

"Barney Jameson and Marshall can't do it because he isn't coming in today."

"Ugh, I hate Barney," she groused, "what's wrong with Marshall? Is he sick?"

Stan chuckled at how protective Mary got over her partner, "No, his brother stopped by for a surprise birthday visit."

'D'oh!' Mary mentally slammed her head into her desk. That's what today was. 'Crap.'

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"How'd you know?"

"Your face lost all of its color and your expression told me you just had an epiphany," Stan smirked, "maybe as your gift to him you can be nice to Eleanor today?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure," Mary blinked as she ran a hand through her hair. 'Crap, crap, crap!' She didn't notice Stan duck back into his office as she continued her mental panic attack.

She'd really done it this time. She didn't think it was possible to be a worse friend. In past years, Marshall's birthday had come and gone with nothing more than her best (and most violent) wishes given to him. He seemed content with that and would offer her to join him for a drink.

This year, however, she felt as if she owed him more than a pat on the back and a 'Happy Birthday'. She had been completely unfair to him when he'd laid his feelings for her on the table. Only recently had she discovered that she returned them.

It was the little things that she'd never put much stock in: the cup of coffee every morning, the occasional breakfast pastry, the mindless litany of trivia to distract her from the mess that was her life. All of these things she took for granted and realized that she missed them when they weren't constantly available to her.

After she returned from Mexico, he had been withdrawn. The partnership had been strained. She had tried to hold up her end by insulting him as per the norm but he would have none of it. He'd even dated one of the local cops for a brief period of time.

Not once, though, did she doubt that he had her back. Marshall was a good man and it was very possible that she'd realized it too late.

"You're right, Eleanor," Mary muttered as the office assistant placed a cup of coffee on her desk.

"Ok, what? Say that once more… with feeling this time." Eleanor's face reflected surprise. That was the last thing she expected to hear from the younger woman.

"I said that you're right," Mary huffed as she rested her head against her arms.

"I usually am, but what am I right about this time?"

"I am a horrible friend. I just realized Marshall's birthday is today." Her voice was muffled but Eleanor still heard every single word.

"You forgot his birthday?" Eleanor was wide-eyed with shock, "I can't believe you! There are no socially responsible reasons for forgetting your best friend's birthday!"

"Yeah, I know! I'm the worst friend ever! Rub it in why don't you?" Mary leaned back against her desk and pressed the palm of her hand to her eye. She could feel a migraine building.

"Lucky for you, he called in today. Apparently, his brother brought his niece down for a visit. Marshall now has a distraction. In lieu of thanks for this information, donations may be made to the charity of your choosing."

Mary pulled a wad of bills and some change from her pocket, "I have $18.39," she grinned sheepishly.

Eleanor smirked before turning on her boot heel and walking back to her desk. Mary watched as the older woman sat down and opened a file. Without looking up, she said, "That might be enough to buy you the ingredients for cupcakes."

Natalie held his hand tightly as she stared at the lionfish while it swam around in its tank. She had a look of awe on her face and Marshall couldn't help but smile softly. His four year old niece possessed that childlike naiveté that always seemed to remind adults that their problems weren't so significant.

This was shaping up to be a pretty good day. Then again, any day with Natalie ranked high in his book. He felt slightly bad about leaving Mary for the day. She would have to visit Barney.

That particular witness was a handful. He was a womanizer and always hit on Mary whenever they were in the same room. So far he'd only had one transgression against his MOU during the six months that he had been in the program. He had called someone from his past. Marshall had pulled the cell phone records and found a couple of phone calls to someone in New York City. Upon confiscation of the government-issued cell phone, he was surprised to see the contact listed as "Ted Mosby: Sex Architect". Marshall had chewed him out and made Barney look as fearful as a wild mustang facing imminent death in a glue factory.

WITSEC was supposed to be able to erase someone's area code DNA; however, one could never account for a witness memorizing a phone number.

He startled as his own phone vibrated on his hip. Natalie's attention was drawn from the fish as Marshall added an extra jump for effect. She giggled as he pretended that his phone had electrocuted him.

"T-t-this issss M-M-Marshall," he grinned at the look of delight on his niece's face as she laughed at his antics.

"Hey Doofus," Mary's voice sounded stressed and he knew she was trying not to let it show. She couldn't hide much from him.

"Hey Mare, what's going on?" Marshall crouched down next to Natalie who was tugging at his pant leg in an attempt to get the phone and held it to her ear, "Say hello to Mary, Natalie!"

"Hi Mawwy!" Natalie shouted into the speaker. He shook his head as he pictured his partner holding the phone away from her ear.

"Ok, it's me again," he grinned, "is everything alright?"

"Can we relocate your witness to Utah on account of how annoying he is?"

"What did Barney do now?"

"He didn't DO anything… it's more like 'what did he say'," Mary snapped.

"Fine, what did he SAY?"

"Something about me being the perfect balance of hot and crazy. I left before he could show me the scale he had drawn up."

"Did you know the state gemstone for Utah is golden topaz? It's the same as the November birthstone."

"Oh, my god, I want to send YOU to Utah," Mary growled.

"Natalie has something she wants to say to you," Marshall said before lowering the phone back down to the four year old's level.

"Did you know jewwyfish don't have bwains?" Natalie shouted into the phone once more and Marshall had to bite his knuckle to keep from laughing as she continued, "they will pwobabwy be the only animals to survive the zombie attacks!" Marshall decided Natalie had had enough phone time and kissed her forehead as he put the phone back against his ear.

"Rick watches a lot of zombie movies," he explained, "sometimes she overhears some of it or him talking about the zombie uprising that's bound to happen." Marshall rolled his eyes.

"I swear, she is most definitely related to you," he heard Mary mutter on the other end.

"Yeah, she tends to babble but what do you expect? She's four," Marshall grinned into the speaker. His Mary was definitely not a kid person.

Sure, when it came to her witnesses, she could handle herself with the best of them. When it came to knowing and understanding them on a personal level, however, she left a lot to be desired. Marshall suspected that it was because she never really got to be a kid herself.

To him, childhood was about outwitting the neighborhood squirrels, doing jumps on his bicycle, and playing pranks on his older brothers.

To her, childhood was about changing her sister's dirty diapers, picking her mother's empty liquor bottles off the floor, and wondering if her Daddy was going to come back for her.

Marshall felt a surge of anger course through him as he thought of James Shannon and his gambling addiction that likely led him to the life of robbery and hiding from the law. He suspected it was more than a love of the slot machines. Mary never talked about it much; either she didn't want to or she didn't know more than what her mother had told her. If it was the latter, Marshall doubted the credibility.

"Doofus," he heard his partner on the other end of the phone. He had forgotten that he was talking to her.

"Yeah, I'm here," he quickly looked down to make sure Natalie was still in sight. Her attention was captivated by the brightly colored fish swimming around in the tank.

"Where'd you go?" Was that concern he heard in her voice? He shook his head as he was brought completely to the present.

"Oh, I'm just a little distracted," Marshall ran a hand over his face as he watched Natalie out of the corner of his eye, "how is Barney?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," Mary's eye roll could be heard in her tone, "he's still upset that you wouldn't let him bring his life-sized storm soldier from his home in New York."

"Storm TROOPER," he chuckled as he corrected her.

"Whatever."

"No! Not 'whatever'! They're not the same!" Marshall realized too late that she might be baiting him. He smacked his palm against his forehead as she laughed at him, "anyway, anything I need to know about?"

"Nah, aside from the bit about the crazy scale, he was fairly tame today."

"Good to hear, sometimes he is just downright inappropriate." Marshall thought back to some of the innuendos and jokes Barney had made towards his partner in the past.

"Don't worry, String Bean, I am a big girl. I can handle myself." Her words may have indicated sarcasm had she not spoken them in a soft and reassuring tone.

"That's my girl. I gotta go, Natalie wants to go get ice cream," he hoisted the child onto his hip as he spoke.

"Have fun, Doofus."

"Bye, Mare," with that, Marshall snapped the phone shut.

"We getting ice cweam?" Natalie hugged him around the neck.

"You bet yer pigtails, we're getting ice cream!" He tugged on one of the curls that fell from the bows in her hair.

"Uncle Mawshall! Don't do that!" she giggled as he began tickling her nose with one of the pigtails.

"What flavor do you want, Munchie?"

"Chocwate!" She scratched her nose.

"Is there any other kind?" he laughed. Natalie was just too cute. Marshall was thankful to Rick for letting him spend the day with her.

Mary drove aimlessly around the city. She felt like such a crummy friend. Who forgets their best friend's birthday? Granted, Marshall hadn't exactly broadcasted it; still, she wanted to at least acknowledge it. He had wished her a happy birthday when she groused about it. As his best friend, she should return the favor.

'God, I suck,' she pulled into the parking lot and sat with the engine idling. He had sounded so happy on the phone. That much was most likely due to his niece. He didn't talk about Natalie often but he had a picture of her on his desk. Mary had to admit that she was a cute kid.

Mary rested her head on the steering wheel. She hated Marshall for making her think. What had compelled him to put himself in her face and call her on her Cowboy BS was beyond her. Things had been changing lately between them and she was unsure about how she felt about it.

No. That was a lie. She knew exactly how she felt about it. She was scared. Her relationship with Marshall was fine the way it was. Becoming romantically involved would only mess things up.

Still, she always went for a man who could fill out a pair of jeans. Marshall was a badass in kids' pajamas and over-sized belt buckles. She loved how he downplayed his own abilities by letting her take the lead. Mary knew exactly how dangerous he could be and, quite frankly, was incredibly turned on by this knowledge.

She knew what she had to do. After shooting a quick text to Stan to tell him she wouldn't be in for the remainder of the day, she restarted the car and peeled out of the lot. Operation: Appreciate Marshall was underway.

Marshall answered the knock at his door wearing his Beaker pajamas and a matching t-shirt that said "Meep?" The person on the other side of the door would just have to deal; after all, it was 10:30 at night. His eyes widened in shock as the other side of the door was revealed to him… not because of the person, but because of what that person was holding. This visit made for the second time someone had done something unexpected on his porch that day.

Mary stood on his porch holding a single cupcake with a lit sparkler in the center. She held it out for him to take and stifled a chuckle at his stunned expression.

"So, I'm a horrible friend," Mary looked down at her feet as he took the cupcake from her hand.

"What makes you say that?" Marshall said after regaining the power of speech. This visit was very out of character for Mary.

"You know I'm horrible with dates," she shuffled her feet as she began to wring her hands. Marshall was tempted to grab a bottle for her so she could peel the label away instead of picking at her fingernails. "You know I won't remember something unless it's on a billboard or something. That's no excuse. I should never forget my best friend's birthday. So, I'm here to say two things: I'm sorry and," she took a step forward to kiss him on the cheek, "Happy Birthday." With that, she turned back towards her car.

A rumble of thunder sounded in the distance. Marshall snapped out of his reverie, blinked a couple times, fought a tear that was threatening to escape, and then reached out to grab her hand. He gave it a slight tug and she stopped moving before turning to face him. "Do you want to come inside?" Marshall cringed at the naked hope that slipped between the words as they left his lips. He tugged at her hand again and was pleasantly surprised to feel her lace her fingers through his.

"Are you crying?" Mary's eyes sparkled with mirth.

"No, I just have an eyelash in it or something." He blushed as he brought a finger up to wipe away the tear, "so, you coming?"

Mary offered him a soft smile as she allowed him to lead her into the house.

"Can I get you a drink?" Marshall asked as he set the cupcake on the counter.

"I'll have what you're having."

"Scotch on the rocks it is!" Marshall fixed two drinks and offered one to Mary.

She accepted the proffered drink and began to make her way into the living room. Marshall grabbed his drink and cupcake and followed her.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"Nah, I want to hear about your day with your niece," Mary sat on the couch to face him with her right leg tucked under her while the other dangled off the edge of the cushion. "She sounds like quite the handful."

"Ok, what gives?" Marshall eyed her suspiciously. This entire visit was getting more and more out of character for Mary. He took a big bite of his cupcake while keeping one eye on her.

It was actually quite good. The frosting was light and creamy with the slightest hint of coconut. The cake was devil's food and the perfectly moist. 'Who knew Mary could bake?' he thought.

A giggle interrupted his thoughts.

"What?" he quirked an eyebrow as he stared into Mary's mocking eyes.

"You have some frosting on your lip," Mary laughed as he unsuccessfully tried to wipe off the offending butter cream. "Here, let me get it."

She leaned forward with a napkin as Marshall sat patiently still. He was unprepared for the feeling of her tongue against his upper lip licking away the frosting. His breath hitched and his eyes floated lazily shut as he reveled in the fleeting contact. 'Happy Birthday to me, indeed,' he thought. The moment he opened his eyes, he was prepared for all hell to break loose.

But it didn't. Cautiously he opened one eye and was rewarded with the sight of Mary staring at him like she looked at steak after her juice fast. Her eyes were feral: glazed over and her pupils dilated. She licked her lips before muttering something that sounded like: "I don't think I got all of it."

She tasted of scotch and butter cream. Like the former, it was intoxicating. Like the latter, he couldn't get enough. Tentatively, he traced his tongue along her lips. When they parted, he thought he'd died and gone to heaven. He was kissing Mary Shannon. This moment had only happened for him in dreams.

He barely registered her climbing onto his lap to straddle him. His hands automatically went to her waist and he held her close. He didn't want to risk waking up if this was a dream.

A groan escaped him as he felt her pull away and slide off his lap. His gaze never wavered as he watched her finish her drink and place the glass on the coffee table. Marshall's eyes widened as she plucked an ice cube from the glass and put it in her mouth.

With a growl, he was in front of her before she could register he'd even moved. His fingers clenched possessively on her hips as he captured her mouth in a rough kiss. They stumbled up the stairs to his bedroom and landed in a tangled heap of limbs on his bed. Mary was surprised to have been able to keep from choking on the ice with the force of them landing on the bed. She bared her teeth to him with the ice cube held tightly between them.

Marshall took the ice cube from between Mary's lips as he kissed her. He smiled as he held it between his teeth and watched lust cloud over her eyes. He slid a hand up the front of her shirt, all the while keeping his eyes locked on hers. He was giving her an out.

She arched towards his hand. All systems go, he pushed the shirt up to expose her stomach. With the ice cube still between his teeth, he kissed around her navel as both hands traced lightly over her ribcage. He brought his icy kisses over each of her ribs and finally to her sternum. He felt her reach behind to undo the clasp of her bra. Once she was free, he kissed the undersides of her breasts. He went in circles until she was begging for him. Finally he made it to her nipples. The ice made her peaks even stiffer.

Marshall felt her hands on his shoulders; her nails scraping along his deltoids. She moaned his name as he continued his exploration of her breasts. By now the ice had melted from the heat radiating from her body.

Mary was on fire. 'Whose bright idea was this?' Marshall was torturing her. The combination of ice and heat from his breath was too much for her to bear. Unable to control the moans escaping her, she did what she could to help him get to his goal faster. That included removing her bra and scratching him on the back to urge him on.

A hiss of pleasure made its way through her teeth as Marshall latched onto her left nipple and bit down. She wove his hands through his hair to guide him where he needed to go. She needed to feel his lips on hers.

Marshall complied with her and began kissing his way up her chest, over her collar bone, along her neck and jaw line.

"_J'ai envie de toi désespérément_i_,"_ she heard him whisper in her ear before licking the cartilage, "so… very… bad."

'That was definitely not English,' was her only coherent thought as she felt his hand at the button on her jeans; his fingers deftly undoing it and pulling the zipper down. Those same nimble fingers slipped beneath her panties and Mary nearly jumped out of her skin at the contact. His fingers were warm as they crept ever closer toward her sensitive flesh.

Enough was enough. Mary tilted her head and captured his mouth with hers. Marshall still tasted slightly sour from the scotch. He responded in kind and she gasped into his mouth as he drove two fingers into her heat.

Marshall took his time with her. Like the most brilliant of scientists, he was methodical in his approach to her body. He'd had a lot of time to think about what he would do in this very moment; but for the life of him he couldn't remember a thing about it. He was acting upon instinct; the sounds she made fueling his desire.

He hadn't known what to expect. In his wildest fantasies, he would tie her to his headboard or sneak in on her in the shower. What he was experiencing in this moment was far from anything he'd ever dreamed of.

He nearly lost it as she gasped against his tongue and he added his thumb to the mix. He used various amounts of pressure as he circled her clit and pumped his fingers into her warmth. Using his left hand, he traced his fingers up from her hip, along her ribs, and coming to rest on her right breast. He ran the pad of his thumb over her erect nipple and he felt her arch against him in response. He ached to feel her breasts against his bare skin.

She must have read his mind or had a similar desire because her hands had found their ways under his t-shirt. Her nails raked along his pectorals and ribcage and he found himself begrudgingly pulling away just long enough to reach behind him so he could remove the offending garment.

Mary took advantage of this and flipped him over so he was on his back. It was her turn to play. Marshall lay on the bed. Lightning flashed outside his bedroom window and she caught a glimpse of the scar – the scar from the bullet that had nearly claimed his life. She took a deep, shuddering breath as she traced it.

Marshall's eyes were on her; she could feel it. They were piercing and calculating. She knew he'd wanted this for a long time. Tearing her eyes from the scar, she locked onto his gaze.

"I almost lost you, too, you know," he said.

She felt Marshall's fingers trace the exit wound as he said this. She settled herself against him as she straddled his waist. Mary smiled a little as he groaned in response.

"I was so scared that day in the gas station," she spoke with rare vulnerability, "I knew I wouldn't survive it if I lost you."

Marshall lightly traced his fingers along her spine, gently encouraging her closer.

"I wouldn't survive it if I lost you, either, Mare," he whispered as he brought his right hand to her shoulder blade and his left to the small of her back as he hugged her to him.

His scent was maddening. It was smoky and warm, yet clean and crisp at the same time. 'How have I not noticed how sexy Marshall is?' The rise and fall of his chest was comforting to her as she nuzzled her head beneath his chin.

Marshall held her close as if she would disappear. He still wasn't entirely convinced that this wasn't a dream. He kissed the top of her head as he inhaled the coconut scent of her shampoo. He felt her shift against him and a surge of longing shot through his body like a wave of electricity.

With a mischievous grin, he used a maneuver to flip their positions once more. Marshall took advantage of her surprised gasp to passionately kiss her while grinding his pelvis against hers.

Mary's hands made their way to the waistband of his pajamas. Her only conscious effort was to get them off. Everything else was instinct. Somehow, she managed to get the pajamas off of him by using a combination of her hands and feet. He bucked against her as she wrapped a slender hand around his erection.

"Geez, Mare, warn a guy will ya?" he panted as he buried his face in her neck.

"Oh, but where's the fun in that?" her grin could be heard and he felt her kiss him on the top of his head.

The rain began to pound on the window pane. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed but the only sounds either of them heard were from each other.

"I need you inside me," she whispered as a bolt of lightning illuminated the entire room.

"As you wish," Marshall tilted his head to kiss her and entered her with one fluid motion just as the thunder crashed loudly outside the window.

They lay there for several moments. This was really happening and they took the time to adjust. Finally, Mary clenched her pelvic muscles to encourage Marshall onward. He began with a slow, steady pace; withdrawing almost completely before sliding completely back inside her. It was torturous and agonizing.

She loved it. Mary snaked one leg around the back of his knee as she brought the other one to a bent position. His hair was falling over his forehead and she felt his muscles tremble with restraint. She brought her hand up to his face to brush the hair away then cupped his cheek. She lifted her head to kiss him softly and she pressed herself against him as he pushed into her.

"Show me what you've got, Cowboy," she murmured before kissing him with ferocity.

Like in everything else, he was her equal. Marshall hung her leg from his shoulder as he drove into her and pressing himself deep inside her warmth. He couldn't tear his eyes from her as he watched her head fall back against the pillows and her eyes roll to the back of her head. He felt one of her hands clench on his thigh muscles and this only heightened the sensation of being with her like this.

The storm raged outside. Thunder and lightning were almost simultaneous indicating the cell was directly overhead. Flashes of light illuminated the planes of Marshall's face and rumbles of thunder mimicked his growls of desire.

Rain pounded on the window pane as if it encouraged him to move faster; his need growing more and more urgent as the rain fell harder against the glass.

Mary was in complete and utter ecstasy. Her vision swam, her chest heaved, and her hands developed minds of their own. Every thrust he made inside of her brought her closer and closer to the brink of her climax. She felt his hand tighten around her leg and she ran her own along his chest and to the back of his neck. She took a firm hold on the nape and pulled him down to her. She wanted him close to her. She wanted to feel his bare chest against hers as she climaxed.

He pulled the comforter around them as he pressed his lean muscle flush against her. As he kissed her, his hands roamed her body without a conscious thought. He could tell by the way her inner muscles clenched around him that she was close to orgasm. Good thing too, he wasn't far off either.

She surrendered herself to him with abandon, crying out his name, and holding onto him for dear life. Two thrusts later, he followed suit; all the while whispering ramblings of love and devotion to her ear. They collapsed against each other in a heap of sweaty limbs. Their breathing was labored in an almost synchronized fashion and lazy kisses were left in places where it wasn't too much effort to reach.

Marshall poked his head up from beneath the comforter. Mary's heart swelled as she took in his sweaty hair clinging to his forehead. Some strands had made their way into his eyes and he brushed his hand through them to push them back. His hair now stuck every which way and he shot her a lopsided grin.

"Well, that was fun," his voice was gravelly in his post-coital haze, "ready for round two?"

Mary rolled her eyes as she leaned forward to kiss him. A bead of sweat had formed at the tip of his nose and she flicked her tongue out to lick it off before wriggling out from under him. His sweat was salty on her taste buds. Not that she minded; she was responsible for its existence, after all.

"I don't know about you, but I need to re-hydrate," Mary shot him a suggestive leer as she headed towards the bathroom.

Marshall's eyes followed her naked form as it sauntered into the bathroom. He heard the shower turn on and he finally blinked. After pinching himself a few times to ensure the status of his reality, he threw the covers off of him and followed in her wake. The sight that welcomed him burned the image into his brain.

She was Botticelli's "Venus Rising from the Sea": with her full hips, long blonde hair and the water streaming over her breasts. Marshall was mesmerized by how the slightest movement caused her breasts to bounce and how the water flowed in uniform rivers down her toned stomach. She turned to face him and gave him a sultry glance before turning her face back towards the showerhead. That was all it took for him to become hard again.

Two strides were all it took to cross the sea of tile to the shower. His eyes never left hers as he stepped into her space and backed her against the wall while sliding the curtain shut with a flourish. He braced both hands on either side of her head as he leaned in close to her ear.

"You see what you do to me?" he growled before capturing her ear lobe between his teeth as he pressed himself into her abdomen. "_Je ne peux me détacher de toi_ii." He let the skin scrape between his teeth before dipping his head to nibble on her jaw line. He took delight in her gasps of pleasure and sank his teeth into the sensitive pulse point on her neck.

Mary dug her nails into his back in response. She felt his body flush against hers; his warmth on her anterior, the cool tile against her back. His fingers clenched on her his as he ground against her and she ran her hands along his back and over his buttocks.

"_L'as-tu?_iii" he cupped both of her cheeks in his hands as he pulled back to look into her eyes, "_As-tu le désir d'être avec moi?_iv"

"Does this French-shit work on all the ladies?" Mary looked up at him through her eyelashes where droplets of water gathered.

"That depends," he said.

"On what?"

"On if it's working on you," he brushed his fingers along the apple of her cheek before cupping the back of her head in his palm.

"And if it is?" Mary brought her face closer to his and bit her lip as she noticed him licking his.

"Then yes, this 'French-shit,' as you so eloquently put it, works on all the ladies," he murmured before closing the distance between them.

The sensation of the hot water running over them as they kissed was overwhelming against the cold tile. Mary flipped their positions so that Marshall had his back to the wall. He gave a startled yelp as he came in contact but otherwise didn't let it deter him from kissing her.

Marshall felt her start to pull away and he held her tighter to keep her close. His lips followed her as she pulled back. His eyes fluttered open only to slam shut once more as he felt her begin to kiss his way down his chest. Finally her tongue flicked across the head of his penis and slamming his eyes shut was all he could do to not throw his head back against the wall in ecstasy.

'Dear God, she's trying to kill me,' he thought as she continued to lick his entire length. Finally, she slipped all of him into her mouth and Marshall found himself clutching at whatever was available for dear life. His legs shook as they tried to keep him upright and his fingers wound themselves in her hair.

Mary's hands moved over his groin and tenderly cupped his testicles as she continued her ministrations. She gently scratched her nails along his inner thighs, buttocks, and abdomen as she lightly scraped her teeth along him.

Marshall had had enough. He gripped Mary by the wrists and pulled her upright before picking her up and pressing her against the wall once more. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist as her arms wound around his neck. Their lips crashed together as the water fell around them.

With one fluid motion, Marshall was inside her. There was no holding back this time. Every thrust inside her held all the love and frustration he had pent up over the past seven years of being partnered with her.

No restraint was shown as she met him thrust for thrust. Her moans against his tongue spurred him on. The way she ground her hips against his told him she was close. Marshall felt her legs tighten around his waist and he made one final push into her. She swallowed the guttural cry he made as he came with one of her own.

They remained in that position against the wall for several moments as they attempted to catch their breath.

"Jesus, Marshall," she panted, "where the hell did that come from?"

Marshall simply laid his head on her shoulder as she eased herself to the floor. He nuzzled his nose into her neck and hugged her to him as he placed kisses along her collarbone.

Mary hugged him around the neck once more and used the wall for support as she held him. One of her hands began wove its way through his hair while the other kneaded the nape of his neck with her fingers. Marshall's fingers glided up and down her ribcage and over the small of her back before his hands came to rest on her hips.

"That was everything I've ever felt for you since the day we met," he mumbled so softly that Mary had to strain her ears to hear him.

"Didn't you hate me during that first transfer?"

"Yes and no," he said as he reached behind him to turn off the water. "I was fascinated by you. I studied you. I knew during that transfer that I wanted you to have my back."

"Did you ever regret convincing Stan to keep me in Albuquerque?" Mary pulled away and stepped out of the tub while simultaneously reaching for a towel.

Marshall took a step back and tilted his head as he regarded the woman in front of him. Never had Mary looked more vulnerable as she did now: naked with her hair stringy and wet and her face tilted towards the floor. He crooked his index finger beneath her chin and lifted her head so that her eyes met his.

"Not once." With that, he drew her in for the tenderest of kisses either of them had ever experienced.

i I need you so bad.

ii I cannot detach myself from you (I can't get enough of you)

iii Do you have it?

iv Do you have the desire to be with me?


	10. Funeral

**This short installment was written to celebrate dispatchvampire's birthday! Happy Birthday dearie!**

**Enjoy- LP**

Marshall stood at the pulpit and stared down at the speech he'd prepared. His hands were shaking and sweat beaded upon his brow. Public speaking had never been a strong suit of his; despite the calm, confident exterior he portrayed to his friends and witnesses. He felt a tear slide down his cheek but made no move to wipe it away. He'd just lost the most important woman in his life. She'd held him as he cried, as he laughed, and sometimes just because she wanted to. He swallowed the lump that was sitting in his throat and took a shaky breath. He raised his head to face the congregation and tried not to think about all the eyes that were upon him at this moment.

He took another breath. This one was steadier than the last and he cleared his throat before beginning to speak.

"Washington Irving once said: A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts," he paused to regain some semblance of control. She would want him to be strong.

Marshall looked at his family in the front row. He saw his father, Seth, his two brothers, Rick and David, with their respective spouses and children. At the far end of the pew was Mary. She nodded to him and gave him a soft smile.

He smiled back as he straightened himself and braced both hands on either side of the pulpit.

"She did always tell me to stand up straight." He felt a little more comfortable as the congregation chuckled with him.

"On the day I turned thirteen, Mom pulled me aside. All my friends were outside playing and eating cake and I wanted badly to join them; but she was adamant that I sit with her for five minutes. Looking back, I feel badly for rolling my eyes, sighing heavily and generally acting like a typical thirteen-year-old. What she said to me that day stuck with me to this day. That was the day she deemed me a man. She told me to always stay true to who I was and to live life slowly. She told me to always be grateful for what and for who was in my life," he looked directly at Mary before clearing his throat and turning back to face the congregation, "and she told me that I would one day find love and that sometimes it wouldn't find me back."

He risked a glance at Mary out of the corner of his eye and flinched at the pained expression on her face. Marshall felt another tear make its way down the side of his face and he could tell his confidence was waning.

"I knew from a very young age what I wanted to be when I grew up. When others doubted me she continued to believe that I could do whatever it was I set my heart to. I stand here before you today not as a U.S. Marshal, but as a doting son who talked to his mother every day. Some might call me a mama's boy. She called me her son and her opinion is all that mattered to me in regard to that. I loved my mother and it pains me to have to say goodbye to her today; however, somebody once told me that goodbyes are only for those you never want to see again. Whether or not I will, I won't say goodbye today. Thank you."

Marshall was glad for the short distance from the pulpit to the pew. His legs felt rubbery and his whole body shook with sobs that he wouldn't let himself shed. He took his seat next to Mary and felt Stan pat him on the shoulder. He'd barely noticed him sitting there. The whole day had been a blur so far. He took comfort when he felt Mary take his hand and guide it to rest in her lap. Her thumb stroked his knuckles as she paid attention to the rest of the service.

Marshall felt as if he was in a fog as the funeral came to an end and everyone started to file out of the church. Mary didn't let go of his hand for one second until Rick grabbed at Marshall's elbow and pulled him into a hug once they were the last three people in the room. Only then did Marshall let the tears flow.

The brothers stood in that position for what seemed like hours. They clung to each other and cried for the loss of the mother who was so dear to them both. The only parted when Rick's wife Jenna came to lead him to the car. Marshall was left alone with Mary.

She took his hand once more as she led him out of the church. Not a word was said between them until they were within the confines of the car.

"I did love you then, I hope you know that," Mary said in a soft voice from her spot in the driver's seat.

"All that matters to me is that you love me now," Marshall whispered as he reached a hand over to squeeze her knee.

Mary held his hand there for a moment while playing with the wedding band that resided there, "I do, Marshall, for better or for worse," she squeezed his hand once more before moving it to turn the key in the ignition. The drive to the burial site was silent. There was nothing else that needed saying. Marshall wouldn't mourn the loss of his mother alone; he would never need to.


End file.
